It's time to finish work and it's already 7pm now in the office. I just got to know from my colleagues that tomorrow is a public holiday. Last time, whenever there is a public holiday, I will be very happy because it means spending more time with her. I miss her so much. We just had a public holiday on Monday and now Friday another public holiday. I miss the moments we hang out so much. And whenever I look at our photos, tears rolling down my cheek. We were so perfect together. Our kids would be fantastic and my love to you were just so solid. Its like the great wall of China, Nothing can remove or take it away.
Sigh, meeting with some friends and they are introducing some new friends to me. To be honest, I am not interested but I have to go out rather than staying at home facing the walls alone thinking of more things. Even when I am out, my mind is all about you. I just can't stop thinking of you whenever I go and whatever I do. Even replying my emails and having meetings with my boss, my minds is still about u..
I hope all this pain could go away. I just hope god can take away all this for me now. It is unbearable that all this beautiful memories just came to and end so suddenly. I didn't know all those little things that I do actually meant so much for you. Guess you were under great pressure being with me. I am very sorry that I spend too much time on you without knowing that you needed some space on your own.
I hope you will enjoy your long weekends with him. To be honest, I have no intention to destroy your relationship with him and just want the best for you. I will look after you from far and love you forever.
No pain beats the pain of seeing the person you love, no longer hold your hand anymore but the hand of others. I can only watch in pain and wish her happiness.
I love you baby... You will forever remain in my heart as my only love.
Thursday 31 January 2013
Wednesday 30 January 2013
Lunch time
It's lunch time now. But as usual, I don't have the mood to eat anything. Normally I will buy McD as it is easier. This few weeks, I have had countless meals of McD and even so, I couldn't finish even half of the burger. I just lost all my appetite ever since I lost you. Now I realise how important you are in my life that I have overlooked it and take you for granted. I never knew you were so important until you left.
I no longer have the opportunity to change anything. I guess you must be very happy with him. Sharing the same job, you both must have had lots to talk about every single day. I envy both of you. And I am really jealous of him but I can just stay back and hope that he doesn't hurt you.
It's time for another set of McD. I hope god can show me some direction to light in this darkness.
I no longer have the opportunity to change anything. I guess you must be very happy with him. Sharing the same job, you both must have had lots to talk about every single day. I envy both of you. And I am really jealous of him but I can just stay back and hope that he doesn't hurt you.
It's time for another set of McD. I hope god can show me some direction to light in this darkness.
You finally let go
Yesterday night was one of the happiest night for me since we broke up and met each other. After I gave you the bouquet of roses, a letter and some things, you gave me a warm hug and a kiss to my neck so hard that i felt being loved by you again. I can feel that you wanted to kiss me as well and so am i. But i made a promise to you that I will respect you and will not try to kiss you. I hold it back although it is so hard for me.
We texted when I got home after I left, and I can almost feel it instantly that all those things no longer mean anything to you. Damages were done, and there are way too many concerns you have even if you wanted to accept me back. Your parents, your family, your friends, your colleagues, most important is him and yourself. I guess you can't bear to hurt him because he has done nth to you. And the day you accepted his love and ask him to give you time, you know that it's going to be hard turning back.
I truly messes things up the day we broke up. If I haven't said all those words, I did not doubt you or trusted you and did not accuse you, I guess all this will not happen. I can't mend this anymore. It's beyond my control and only you yourself can tell me what I should do. Moving on, I definitely will. But it's going to be a tough lonely journey. Having all the money is useless to me without someone I love to share all the joy and happiness.
It is really tough going thru the day, hours, and even minutes. Every passing minutes seems to be an hour long and a day seems to be a month. It's already over a month and my love to you still remains so strong. Is it true that when you really loved someone, that feeling will never fade even if anything happens. I hope time can heal my pain. And I hope god will arrange something for me in the future. I don't want to live this life of painful experiences anymore. Whatever I am lacking, I am willing to compensate and change.
Nevertheless, I wish you all the best in your life. I hope that you have truly found the right guy for you and he is going to be your happiness. I never thought that our love could be replaced so easily. I guess when you don't appreciate, then it will be easy for others to come in. This statement is so true. I love you baby. Forever and ever.
We texted when I got home after I left, and I can almost feel it instantly that all those things no longer mean anything to you. Damages were done, and there are way too many concerns you have even if you wanted to accept me back. Your parents, your family, your friends, your colleagues, most important is him and yourself. I guess you can't bear to hurt him because he has done nth to you. And the day you accepted his love and ask him to give you time, you know that it's going to be hard turning back.
I truly messes things up the day we broke up. If I haven't said all those words, I did not doubt you or trusted you and did not accuse you, I guess all this will not happen. I can't mend this anymore. It's beyond my control and only you yourself can tell me what I should do. Moving on, I definitely will. But it's going to be a tough lonely journey. Having all the money is useless to me without someone I love to share all the joy and happiness.
It is really tough going thru the day, hours, and even minutes. Every passing minutes seems to be an hour long and a day seems to be a month. It's already over a month and my love to you still remains so strong. Is it true that when you really loved someone, that feeling will never fade even if anything happens. I hope time can heal my pain. And I hope god will arrange something for me in the future. I don't want to live this life of painful experiences anymore. Whatever I am lacking, I am willing to compensate and change.
Nevertheless, I wish you all the best in your life. I hope that you have truly found the right guy for you and he is going to be your happiness. I never thought that our love could be replaced so easily. I guess when you don't appreciate, then it will be easy for others to come in. This statement is so true. I love you baby. Forever and ever.
Tuesday 29 January 2013
29th January 2013
One month ago, I was thinking of how you would give me surprise and celebrate my birthday with me. I never never thought that 1 month later, I will be celebrating my birthday alone in a resort far away from you. I missed you so much. The more i tried to run away from you, the more i think of you.
I have been thinking and thinking and thinking. What I should do? What I can do? What I should have done earlier and not done yet? What have I learned in this relationship? And how can I get out from it? How to overcome this and move on? All this questions just keep popping in my mind. But I just realised that it's already too late. There's nothing I can do now.
If there is anything I can do, I can only wish you happiness. I wish you can find happiness in him. I hope he can take good care of you. I hope he can forever be by your side and care for you. I hope he accompany you dance class, accompany you to cooking class, accompany you swim and accompany you to do the things you like. This are the things I never have the chance to do even if I wanted to do it now for you. It's just too late.
God is very kind to me, and the bracelet I wore actually helped a little. At least, I manage to see you one last time. That is the best I can ask for my birthday and it actually came true. When I saw you again after so many weeks, I just felt the sense of intimacy and love with you. It's like the love we had when I first saw you. It never disappeared. I realise that every time I see you, it's the same feeling of love every time. And when I didn't see you, that feeling just grow and keep growing until a point, it became tears and just keep rolling, every time i think of you.
I just want to let you know, no matter how far you are from me, no matter how distant our hearts are, mine will always be close to you. I will always and forever love you. And be your guardian angel until you found the love of your life and happily get married. This is my promise to you that I will keep forever.
One month ago, I was thinking of how you would give me surprise and celebrate my birthday with me. I never never thought that 1 month later, I will be celebrating my birthday alone in a resort far away from you. I missed you so much. The more i tried to run away from you, the more i think of you.
I have been thinking and thinking and thinking. What I should do? What I can do? What I should have done earlier and not done yet? What have I learned in this relationship? And how can I get out from it? How to overcome this and move on? All this questions just keep popping in my mind. But I just realised that it's already too late. There's nothing I can do now.
If there is anything I can do, I can only wish you happiness. I wish you can find happiness in him. I hope he can take good care of you. I hope he can forever be by your side and care for you. I hope he accompany you dance class, accompany you to cooking class, accompany you swim and accompany you to do the things you like. This are the things I never have the chance to do even if I wanted to do it now for you. It's just too late.
God is very kind to me, and the bracelet I wore actually helped a little. At least, I manage to see you one last time. That is the best I can ask for my birthday and it actually came true. When I saw you again after so many weeks, I just felt the sense of intimacy and love with you. It's like the love we had when I first saw you. It never disappeared. I realise that every time I see you, it's the same feeling of love every time. And when I didn't see you, that feeling just grow and keep growing until a point, it became tears and just keep rolling, every time i think of you.
I just want to let you know, no matter how far you are from me, no matter how distant our hearts are, mine will always be close to you. I will always and forever love you. And be your guardian angel until you found the love of your life and happily get married. This is my promise to you that I will keep forever.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)