29th January 2013

One month ago, I was thinking of how you would give me surprise and celebrate my birthday with me. I never never thought that 1 month later, I will be celebrating my birthday alone in a resort far away from you. I missed you so much. The more i tried to run away from you, the more i think of you.

I have been thinking and thinking and thinking. What I should do? What I can do? What I should have done earlier and not done yet? What have I learned in this relationship? And how can I get out from it? How to overcome this and move on? All this questions just keep popping in my mind. But I just realised that it's already too late. There's nothing I can do now.

If there is anything I can do, I can only wish you happiness. I wish you can find happiness in him. I hope he can take good care of you. I hope he can forever be by your side and care for you. I hope he accompany you dance class, accompany you to cooking class, accompany you swim and accompany you to do the things you like. This are the things I never have the chance to do even if I wanted to do it now for you. It's just too late.

God is very kind to me, and the bracelet I wore actually helped a little. At least, I manage to see you one last time. That is the best I can ask for my birthday and it actually came true. When I saw you again after so many weeks, I just felt the sense of intimacy and love with you. It's like the love we had when I first saw you. It never disappeared. I realise that every time I see you, it's the same feeling of love every time. And when I didn't see you, that feeling just grow and keep growing until a point, it became tears and just keep rolling, every time i think of you.

I just want to let you know, no matter how far you are from me, no matter how distant our hearts are, mine will always be close to you. I will always and forever love you. And be your guardian angel until you found the love of your life and happily get married. This is my promise to you that I will keep forever.