15th Day of Recovery

Good afternoon baby. Everyday, I keep on counting down on the days of recovery. But without any sense of direction and without any hope. I go out with girls, I join my friends in their outings, but I still can't get over with you. I can only keep this feelings in my heart. No one else knew how much I really love you. It has been more than 2 months now, and I really wish I could live without you.

Even far far away from you, I am still thinking of you every single day and hoping that we could be reunited once again. I keep remembering the words you said to me. All the loves you once had for me. That you will love me a thousand years, that your love to me will never fade, and you are suffering in pain alone. I wonder if you still feel it now. Although deep inside I really wanted you to be happy, sometimes, I had this selfish thought about you loving me deeply.

Nevertheless, I will still stay away from you and stop contacting you. The only things that I still owe you is the 1 pack that I need to return to you. After this, everything about material and realistic about you will disappear slowly from my life. What is left is just the memories about us. Everyday, I keep looking at your photos, I will tell myself. Are you real? Did you really exist or it's all just a big long dream that I am having. Is all this photos, memories, all real? If it is, why the ending should be like this? I really hate myself.

Anyway, no point talking about this, because you are now happy and will never see me again. I continue to hope and wish you are happy with him. It's time for a walk around the beach and to think of something else. I am going to Japan in first week of April, after i leave my company. At least no need take leave. Things change so fast. Everything, I once dream of.

Tomorrow should be our 1 year anniversary. And a big surprise from me to you. It's all gone. Ok. Have to stop thinking back now. It's really time to look forward. You have your own life. And you will definitely enjoy your life now. I miss you so much btw. So wanted to hug you and so wanted to kiss you deeply.

I will always love you forever and ever. Take care my love. Remember about your health and body. If there is anything you need, I will always be there first to offer myself.