32nd Day of Recovery

There is a reason why I don't want to update my blog. I wanted you to forget me. I don't want you to continue reading my pathetic blog trying to forget you. I wanted you to move on happily. Until I decided to visit my blog and found out that you are blogging too starting from 15th March onwards.

I read all your post over and over again, use google translation and use voice to read out your message to me.

All those if, and if and if and if.. Are just too late now. If I had known this earlier, I would not have accepted her. But it's too late now. I waited and waited until I know it's impossible when you said you are already with him.

Yes, I said that I will love you forever and until now, it's still the same. I never told her I LOVE YOU this 3 words. Never. I never call her baby, bao bei like how I called you. I only call her dear.. which I never use that on u.. I feel like punching myself so badly that all this has to happen in this way. But reality is still reality and we both have to live on it.

If time really can come back, I would do the same to u.. Hold u so tightly and will never say break up or let u go ever again, even if it's the end of the world. I will die together with u..

Some feelings are just meant to be hidden until our path cross again in the future. U r with another guy and I am with another girl unexpectedly. I never say I will forget you and never say I will not love you, but there are some things in life that I can't control just like u.. If u hadn't been with him or waited until now, maybe we will both be happily together. I don't blame u.. It's the environment that causes us both this enormous pain..

I cried in the office while reading all your post after messaging u that I will go for the kimchi ramen.. I just decided to visit my blog before I leave the office but notice all this. I thought I really can move on but actually the pain of knowing all ur unhappiness and sadness is even worst.. I just hope all this never happen..

Let us be strong for our future.. Nobody knows what will happen. Maybe our path will cross again.. But for now, I want u to promise me to live happily with him.. Time will tell if he is the one or not.. If we are meant to be in the end, we will.. Just like our love.. A thousand years.. I can promise u it will be forever..

You are always very important in my heart. Far more important than anyone else in this world..

I love you forever and always.. Eternal thousand years of love to my beloved baby Ashley...

PS: We will definitely have the chance to eat laksa and prawn me again together. I will bring you.. Hopefully before I leave..

Just remember, some truth are always meant to be hidden. Just like you and me.. Just like how much u said u loved me but in the end, chooses him.. I still believe in u.. but there is no turning back.. I can just pray strongly that our path will cross in the future.. I love you always..