Good morning to you.. I have read your post.. I hope you are feeling better now. Yesterday I am with her but just to fetch her back to her house. She doesn't drive. She is not staying with me. I am just too tired when I got home that I fall asleep straight after taking my bath. I wanted to reply to you while driving but I am driving too fast.
Anyway, you must drink more healthy fruit juice and I know you seldom drink water. Sure dehydrated. Keep yourself healthy please. And if we had the chance, we can go have laksa again. Or please, laksa is your favourite, ask him to accompany you go eat. We use to eat every single week at Seapark. I miss those days together. Suddenly think back, I feel that everything in exchange of what I have now is totally not worth it. If I can have another exchange, I would leave everything behind just to get back the life I use to have few months back. That is the life I always wanted and happy with.
I hope you can sleep well and not waking up everyday around 4 - 6 am. This is totally not healthy. There are things that we can never control and especially dreams. But since you can dream of him, I am sure you have fall for him and only that reason is strong enough for your to cry for him. You don't cry if you feel no pain and you feel pain when you're in love. I don't want to speculate about this too much as it may just be my own thought. But nevertheless if you really like him, probably just like yourself, he also need some space of his own. Maybe you should just allow it since it's just once or twice a week with his friend, whom I know he is quite close with. Different people engage in different types of relationship and that's also one of the reason why I say we are both fortunate. We both had perfect life with our parents approving until unwanted incidents happen that ruins everything. It's my fault.
I have also told you before that when a girl is at his weakest point, any guy would do anything just to win her heart and that includes giving all his time for her, be there for her, pamper her, etc but when together, it is the link or connection that you both have created that will make your relationship last. Find back that connection, find back that link, and find the reason why you loved him and accepted him. I don't know how I treated you last time, but I will give you all my spare time and none left for other girls. You know that. I have never lied or have any secrets with you before. In our times together, I have never had any other girls in my mind except for you.
I am not sure about him but also maybe because of his age. Like I always say, a guy who crosses the 30th mark will find stability in his life, career but not relationship. This is the best time to look around, play around and in the end, single forever. But of course, there are some exception and I hope he is the guy for you since you have chosen him.
Ok, spend too much time typing this. I have so many crazy work to finish. I am going holiday this weekend. I really need time off from my crazy work and less sleep and hope that I can sleep till very late, eat, and the have some walk, movie and then go back sleep again. Really tired. I hope you too can go on a holiday with him and just enjoy yourself.
To be honest, I know our time is not up, but I am praying and hoping everyday that one day in the future, god knows when, maybe a year? maybe 2 years? maybe never? but anyway, hope that our path will cross again.
I love you always and forever.. have a nice day and please no matter what happen, i am behind you.. so smile always. I want to see a fighting girl behind a weak and soft heart. I want to see you resurface stronger each time. I am changing as well. I hope you too.. Take care and have a productive day..
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