Here I am again, after 1 month, writing on this blog. I thought I will be able to recover from the pain of losing you. But clearly not. After so many days and keep counting, my heart is still bleeding.
I just blocked you on my whatsapp. And don't plan to update anything on my walls anymore in google+. What will you feel about me? I promise myself not to be in the same darkness and position few months back. I promise myself to be stronger and tougher.
Even if you're not willing to be with me, and chooses him again, it doesn't matter. I believe I am strong enough to move on and enjoy my life.
Since you have chosen him again, I hope you both can live happily ever after and hope he changes for you too. You disappoint me when you said you misses me so much but ended up choosing him again when you had the opportunity to leave. Maybe it is love and you are touched by his sincerity. But you had a good reason to back you up which is responsibility. You said even if you're not happy, even you don't love him, you will still be with him. Until you can't stand. But when will that be? It's good to be responsible and I have decided to step down from being a third party.
I will search for my own life and happiness. While wishing you all the best in your dreams, relationship and career. Sometimes in life, it's all about the choices you make. Not fate. Like I have said to you, I only believe in fate once when it brought us together. Then it is our decision to maintain or to destroy it.
God brought and connected our life, and completed our puzzle. We decided to be together. In the end, it's all our decision on whether we are together, break up, or coming back together. It's not fate anymore because fate has done it's job. The rest is up to us. You have made your decision and I will honor and respect it.
I hope you have a good life with him. Maybe there's something in him that makes you stay.
I am going out tonight to just relax myself with some friends. I just want to find back myself and be happy.
Forgive my selfishness... I am sorry...
Tuesday 23 April 2013
Sunday 24 March 2013
38th Day of Recovery
Morning. I guess both our holidays were not as smooth and happy as we both thought it will be. I never knew about all the problems you're having and never intend to be part of your problem. I guess part or not most of it is my problem. I started to buy you luxury brands because I know you love it. I started to chat with you more often which causes all this. I'm very sorry. I will not send anymore messages to you. I will still update this blog because I feel that I tried very hard to recover but in the end, I still love you so much.
I feel that it's very unfair to her now when I'm thinking of you. I never touched her. Never. And she feels weird about it and keep trying when we are in Port Dickson yesterday. We started too quick without me getting over you and now, I don't know how to leave without hurting her. I guess I'm really a bad guy after all. An asshole that never stop hurting girls feeling. Like how much I have hurt you. Me and her is totally different than me and you. I never told her I have a pending Japan trip and keep paying money postponing the dates, paying the penalty. I have it twice now. I too feel like giving up but just don't know how. I can't go trips with her especially to the places I have never been before and my dream places. Somehow I just want to go with you.
I plan to go Paris alone and buy you a Chanel bag still for your birthday present. I have promise you and I have to keep it. I will go in June during your birthday.
You and I, we are actually a nearly perfect couple except for our slight differences in character but knowing it now and even changing it now is useless. I never control her outings with friends and always ask her to go out with them. I will just fetch her afterwards to meet for a while. I spend money on her but she is like you, have strong character which makes me accept her in the first place I think. But that's not love. I knew it now and have no way at the moment to go back.
Don't blame yourself for the person you are now. No one is to be blame even yourself. All of us are born to be happy. We just need to find the right guy and girl in life and get married. My love forever is going to be you and marriage, I'm only thinking of you. I feel sorry to her even by writing this to you now but this is exactly how I feel.
Every girl is meant and born to enjoy life. That's why I pamper and loved you so much. Not because I have lots of money to spend, or because I know you like branded things. But it's actually because of the attitude and character you have. I know that in the future if I'm really in difficulty, you will be there got me and take care of me and my family. That's why just because of this, I will give you the best and secondary to myself. If you see, I never treat myself with any branded things even in London. I spend most of my money on you items. I have no regret even until today. I still believe you are the right girl for me. But now, you're with him and I can only wish and hope you're happy.
My parents, when talk to me always ask me to do 1 thing which until now, I still fail to do. Find a good gf, get married and treat her very nice. My father values what my mum has done for our family. And I value you that much as well for the things you have gone thru with me. I will give you only the best i can afford. If I have money, whatever you want I will get it for you.
Remember, I am always here listening to you. I never leave you although we never see each other and I can't physically be next to you to accompany you when you cry but I will be here. I hope you will stay strong and overcome this. I will not leave you and you're definitely not alone. You will never be alone crying in the dark because I will come with a torchlight.
I know you love him a lot now. And I hope you can enjoy your trip in July with him and his family. You will need to tell your parents too that time. Hope you guys will be able to tie the knot. I sincerely wished you and him happiness.
I love you forever and always. I know it's a strong sentence to say but I really mean it. This is true love. Sometimes we are not meant to be with our true love but we can only wish them happiness with someone else. It's really painful doing it but it's the best for now.
I will not message you on whatsapp now. My good morning and good night will only appear on my google plus post just like you.
Have a great working day for you and hope you will forget all the problems you're facing now and take it as an opportunity to test your love to him.
I feel that it's very unfair to her now when I'm thinking of you. I never touched her. Never. And she feels weird about it and keep trying when we are in Port Dickson yesterday. We started too quick without me getting over you and now, I don't know how to leave without hurting her. I guess I'm really a bad guy after all. An asshole that never stop hurting girls feeling. Like how much I have hurt you. Me and her is totally different than me and you. I never told her I have a pending Japan trip and keep paying money postponing the dates, paying the penalty. I have it twice now. I too feel like giving up but just don't know how. I can't go trips with her especially to the places I have never been before and my dream places. Somehow I just want to go with you.
I plan to go Paris alone and buy you a Chanel bag still for your birthday present. I have promise you and I have to keep it. I will go in June during your birthday.
You and I, we are actually a nearly perfect couple except for our slight differences in character but knowing it now and even changing it now is useless. I never control her outings with friends and always ask her to go out with them. I will just fetch her afterwards to meet for a while. I spend money on her but she is like you, have strong character which makes me accept her in the first place I think. But that's not love. I knew it now and have no way at the moment to go back.
Don't blame yourself for the person you are now. No one is to be blame even yourself. All of us are born to be happy. We just need to find the right guy and girl in life and get married. My love forever is going to be you and marriage, I'm only thinking of you. I feel sorry to her even by writing this to you now but this is exactly how I feel.
Every girl is meant and born to enjoy life. That's why I pamper and loved you so much. Not because I have lots of money to spend, or because I know you like branded things. But it's actually because of the attitude and character you have. I know that in the future if I'm really in difficulty, you will be there got me and take care of me and my family. That's why just because of this, I will give you the best and secondary to myself. If you see, I never treat myself with any branded things even in London. I spend most of my money on you items. I have no regret even until today. I still believe you are the right girl for me. But now, you're with him and I can only wish and hope you're happy.
My parents, when talk to me always ask me to do 1 thing which until now, I still fail to do. Find a good gf, get married and treat her very nice. My father values what my mum has done for our family. And I value you that much as well for the things you have gone thru with me. I will give you only the best i can afford. If I have money, whatever you want I will get it for you.
Remember, I am always here listening to you. I never leave you although we never see each other and I can't physically be next to you to accompany you when you cry but I will be here. I hope you will stay strong and overcome this. I will not leave you and you're definitely not alone. You will never be alone crying in the dark because I will come with a torchlight.
I know you love him a lot now. And I hope you can enjoy your trip in July with him and his family. You will need to tell your parents too that time. Hope you guys will be able to tie the knot. I sincerely wished you and him happiness.
I love you forever and always. I know it's a strong sentence to say but I really mean it. This is true love. Sometimes we are not meant to be with our true love but we can only wish them happiness with someone else. It's really painful doing it but it's the best for now.
I will not message you on whatsapp now. My good morning and good night will only appear on my google plus post just like you.
Have a great working day for you and hope you will forget all the problems you're facing now and take it as an opportunity to test your love to him.
Friday 22 March 2013
35th Day of Recovery
Today is a crazily busy day for me since morning. That's why I don't even have the time to update this blog. But I am happy that we are keeping in touch. That you no longer hate me. Although we are not together anymore by fate, but I am satisfied with what I have now.
Our communication like this is good enough for me. Me and my her now started in an unexplained and sudden environment. I don't know what I am doing at all. But don't worry I said before I will never hurt another girl the same way I hurt you. No other girl will feel the pain that you have felt. And I will go thru this pain with you again in the future if you ever going to face it alone without him.
Just remember this, take care of yourself and be tough. Guys can say anything they want when they are coming after you, it's their commitment after, that makes it all count. I hope you understand what I am trying to say. I hope he is the man for you because you loved him and I know it. Me and her now, I don't know what we are going thru at the moment. But it's definitely different than when I am with you. But don't worry, I won't hurt her.
I still love you and miss you so much. Somehow, this is a lifetime commitment. You ask me not to wait for you, but can I really do it? Only time will tell. But I definitely still hope and pray that our path will one day crosses each other and we can once again be a lovely couple.
Take care and for now, remember to be happy always. Stay healthy and always smile. A happy heart can cure many disease and sickness and also mental stress.. I know you can do it. Feel it in your heart that I am always next to you even though physically I am very far..
I will be having my vacations in the weekend and taking Monday off as well.. You have a nice weekend too and enjoy your days with him..
Our communication like this is good enough for me. Me and my her now started in an unexplained and sudden environment. I don't know what I am doing at all. But don't worry I said before I will never hurt another girl the same way I hurt you. No other girl will feel the pain that you have felt. And I will go thru this pain with you again in the future if you ever going to face it alone without him.
Just remember this, take care of yourself and be tough. Guys can say anything they want when they are coming after you, it's their commitment after, that makes it all count. I hope you understand what I am trying to say. I hope he is the man for you because you loved him and I know it. Me and her now, I don't know what we are going thru at the moment. But it's definitely different than when I am with you. But don't worry, I won't hurt her.
I still love you and miss you so much. Somehow, this is a lifetime commitment. You ask me not to wait for you, but can I really do it? Only time will tell. But I definitely still hope and pray that our path will one day crosses each other and we can once again be a lovely couple.
Take care and for now, remember to be happy always. Stay healthy and always smile. A happy heart can cure many disease and sickness and also mental stress.. I know you can do it. Feel it in your heart that I am always next to you even though physically I am very far..
I will be having my vacations in the weekend and taking Monday off as well.. You have a nice weekend too and enjoy your days with him..
Wednesday 20 March 2013
34th Day of Recovery
Good morning to you.. I have read your post.. I hope you are feeling better now. Yesterday I am with her but just to fetch her back to her house. She doesn't drive. She is not staying with me. I am just too tired when I got home that I fall asleep straight after taking my bath. I wanted to reply to you while driving but I am driving too fast.
Anyway, you must drink more healthy fruit juice and I know you seldom drink water. Sure dehydrated. Keep yourself healthy please. And if we had the chance, we can go have laksa again. Or please, laksa is your favourite, ask him to accompany you go eat. We use to eat every single week at Seapark. I miss those days together. Suddenly think back, I feel that everything in exchange of what I have now is totally not worth it. If I can have another exchange, I would leave everything behind just to get back the life I use to have few months back. That is the life I always wanted and happy with.
I hope you can sleep well and not waking up everyday around 4 - 6 am. This is totally not healthy. There are things that we can never control and especially dreams. But since you can dream of him, I am sure you have fall for him and only that reason is strong enough for your to cry for him. You don't cry if you feel no pain and you feel pain when you're in love. I don't want to speculate about this too much as it may just be my own thought. But nevertheless if you really like him, probably just like yourself, he also need some space of his own. Maybe you should just allow it since it's just once or twice a week with his friend, whom I know he is quite close with. Different people engage in different types of relationship and that's also one of the reason why I say we are both fortunate. We both had perfect life with our parents approving until unwanted incidents happen that ruins everything. It's my fault.
I have also told you before that when a girl is at his weakest point, any guy would do anything just to win her heart and that includes giving all his time for her, be there for her, pamper her, etc but when together, it is the link or connection that you both have created that will make your relationship last. Find back that connection, find back that link, and find the reason why you loved him and accepted him. I don't know how I treated you last time, but I will give you all my spare time and none left for other girls. You know that. I have never lied or have any secrets with you before. In our times together, I have never had any other girls in my mind except for you.
I am not sure about him but also maybe because of his age. Like I always say, a guy who crosses the 30th mark will find stability in his life, career but not relationship. This is the best time to look around, play around and in the end, single forever. But of course, there are some exception and I hope he is the guy for you since you have chosen him.
Ok, spend too much time typing this. I have so many crazy work to finish. I am going holiday this weekend. I really need time off from my crazy work and less sleep and hope that I can sleep till very late, eat, and the have some walk, movie and then go back sleep again. Really tired. I hope you too can go on a holiday with him and just enjoy yourself.
To be honest, I know our time is not up, but I am praying and hoping everyday that one day in the future, god knows when, maybe a year? maybe 2 years? maybe never? but anyway, hope that our path will cross again.
I love you always and forever.. have a nice day and please no matter what happen, i am behind you.. so smile always. I want to see a fighting girl behind a weak and soft heart. I want to see you resurface stronger each time. I am changing as well. I hope you too.. Take care and have a productive day..
Anyway, you must drink more healthy fruit juice and I know you seldom drink water. Sure dehydrated. Keep yourself healthy please. And if we had the chance, we can go have laksa again. Or please, laksa is your favourite, ask him to accompany you go eat. We use to eat every single week at Seapark. I miss those days together. Suddenly think back, I feel that everything in exchange of what I have now is totally not worth it. If I can have another exchange, I would leave everything behind just to get back the life I use to have few months back. That is the life I always wanted and happy with.
I hope you can sleep well and not waking up everyday around 4 - 6 am. This is totally not healthy. There are things that we can never control and especially dreams. But since you can dream of him, I am sure you have fall for him and only that reason is strong enough for your to cry for him. You don't cry if you feel no pain and you feel pain when you're in love. I don't want to speculate about this too much as it may just be my own thought. But nevertheless if you really like him, probably just like yourself, he also need some space of his own. Maybe you should just allow it since it's just once or twice a week with his friend, whom I know he is quite close with. Different people engage in different types of relationship and that's also one of the reason why I say we are both fortunate. We both had perfect life with our parents approving until unwanted incidents happen that ruins everything. It's my fault.
I have also told you before that when a girl is at his weakest point, any guy would do anything just to win her heart and that includes giving all his time for her, be there for her, pamper her, etc but when together, it is the link or connection that you both have created that will make your relationship last. Find back that connection, find back that link, and find the reason why you loved him and accepted him. I don't know how I treated you last time, but I will give you all my spare time and none left for other girls. You know that. I have never lied or have any secrets with you before. In our times together, I have never had any other girls in my mind except for you.
I am not sure about him but also maybe because of his age. Like I always say, a guy who crosses the 30th mark will find stability in his life, career but not relationship. This is the best time to look around, play around and in the end, single forever. But of course, there are some exception and I hope he is the guy for you since you have chosen him.
Ok, spend too much time typing this. I have so many crazy work to finish. I am going holiday this weekend. I really need time off from my crazy work and less sleep and hope that I can sleep till very late, eat, and the have some walk, movie and then go back sleep again. Really tired. I hope you too can go on a holiday with him and just enjoy yourself.
To be honest, I know our time is not up, but I am praying and hoping everyday that one day in the future, god knows when, maybe a year? maybe 2 years? maybe never? but anyway, hope that our path will cross again.
I love you always and forever.. have a nice day and please no matter what happen, i am behind you.. so smile always. I want to see a fighting girl behind a weak and soft heart. I want to see you resurface stronger each time. I am changing as well. I hope you too.. Take care and have a productive day..
Tuesday 19 March 2013
33rd Day of Recovery
I am very happy that you have finally smiled. Even if I didn't do much impact on your life now but being able to generate a smile on your face is a big thing to me.
I hope you will carry on this smile and never let anything else take it away from you. I will always be here for you. We both know deep inside how we felt about each other and although fate tear us apart right now, I believe that in the future, we will be truly happy.
If we are really meant to be together, our path will definitely cross again and I hope that time, we will never ever let each other go again. What we can do now is to just live our life as happy as we can because right now, there are certain things that we can't go back. Just like the relationships that we are both having now.
Take care and we will have chance again for the lovely laksa, prawn mee and your favourite fruit juice.
I hope you will carry on this smile and never let anything else take it away from you. I will always be here for you. We both know deep inside how we felt about each other and although fate tear us apart right now, I believe that in the future, we will be truly happy.
If we are really meant to be together, our path will definitely cross again and I hope that time, we will never ever let each other go again. What we can do now is to just live our life as happy as we can because right now, there are certain things that we can't go back. Just like the relationships that we are both having now.
Take care and we will have chance again for the lovely laksa, prawn mee and your favourite fruit juice.
32nd Day of Recovery
There is a reason why I don't want to update my blog. I wanted you to forget me. I don't want you to continue reading my pathetic blog trying to forget you. I wanted you to move on happily. Until I decided to visit my blog and found out that you are blogging too starting from 15th March onwards.
I read all your post over and over again, use google translation and use voice to read out your message to me.
All those if, and if and if and if.. Are just too late now. If I had known this earlier, I would not have accepted her. But it's too late now. I waited and waited until I know it's impossible when you said you are already with him.
Yes, I said that I will love you forever and until now, it's still the same. I never told her I LOVE YOU this 3 words. Never. I never call her baby, bao bei like how I called you. I only call her dear.. which I never use that on u.. I feel like punching myself so badly that all this has to happen in this way. But reality is still reality and we both have to live on it.
If time really can come back, I would do the same to u.. Hold u so tightly and will never say break up or let u go ever again, even if it's the end of the world. I will die together with u..
Some feelings are just meant to be hidden until our path cross again in the future. U r with another guy and I am with another girl unexpectedly. I never say I will forget you and never say I will not love you, but there are some things in life that I can't control just like u.. If u hadn't been with him or waited until now, maybe we will both be happily together. I don't blame u.. It's the environment that causes us both this enormous pain..
I cried in the office while reading all your post after messaging u that I will go for the kimchi ramen.. I just decided to visit my blog before I leave the office but notice all this. I thought I really can move on but actually the pain of knowing all ur unhappiness and sadness is even worst.. I just hope all this never happen..
Let us be strong for our future.. Nobody knows what will happen. Maybe our path will cross again.. But for now, I want u to promise me to live happily with him.. Time will tell if he is the one or not.. If we are meant to be in the end, we will.. Just like our love.. A thousand years.. I can promise u it will be forever..
You are always very important in my heart. Far more important than anyone else in this world..
I love you forever and always.. Eternal thousand years of love to my beloved baby Ashley...
PS: We will definitely have the chance to eat laksa and prawn me again together. I will bring you.. Hopefully before I leave..
Just remember, some truth are always meant to be hidden. Just like you and me.. Just like how much u said u loved me but in the end, chooses him.. I still believe in u.. but there is no turning back.. I can just pray strongly that our path will cross in the future.. I love you always..
I read all your post over and over again, use google translation and use voice to read out your message to me.
All those if, and if and if and if.. Are just too late now. If I had known this earlier, I would not have accepted her. But it's too late now. I waited and waited until I know it's impossible when you said you are already with him.
Yes, I said that I will love you forever and until now, it's still the same. I never told her I LOVE YOU this 3 words. Never. I never call her baby, bao bei like how I called you. I only call her dear.. which I never use that on u.. I feel like punching myself so badly that all this has to happen in this way. But reality is still reality and we both have to live on it.
If time really can come back, I would do the same to u.. Hold u so tightly and will never say break up or let u go ever again, even if it's the end of the world. I will die together with u..
Some feelings are just meant to be hidden until our path cross again in the future. U r with another guy and I am with another girl unexpectedly. I never say I will forget you and never say I will not love you, but there are some things in life that I can't control just like u.. If u hadn't been with him or waited until now, maybe we will both be happily together. I don't blame u.. It's the environment that causes us both this enormous pain..
I cried in the office while reading all your post after messaging u that I will go for the kimchi ramen.. I just decided to visit my blog before I leave the office but notice all this. I thought I really can move on but actually the pain of knowing all ur unhappiness and sadness is even worst.. I just hope all this never happen..
Let us be strong for our future.. Nobody knows what will happen. Maybe our path will cross again.. But for now, I want u to promise me to live happily with him.. Time will tell if he is the one or not.. If we are meant to be in the end, we will.. Just like our love.. A thousand years.. I can promise u it will be forever..
You are always very important in my heart. Far more important than anyone else in this world..
I love you forever and always.. Eternal thousand years of love to my beloved baby Ashley...
PS: We will definitely have the chance to eat laksa and prawn me again together. I will bring you.. Hopefully before I leave..
Just remember, some truth are always meant to be hidden. Just like you and me.. Just like how much u said u loved me but in the end, chooses him.. I still believe in u.. but there is no turning back.. I can just pray strongly that our path will cross in the future.. I love you always..
Friday 15 March 2013
The end of 28th Day - Last post & hidden love forever
Before I start writing this post. I just want you to know that this will be the last post you see. And don't visit this blog anymore. You are right. I shouldn't post anymore on this blog. I will listen to you.
Sadly, the things that you say, is true and I already knew it long ago. We may not be with the person whom we love the most and in the end, we end up being with somebody whom we might not truly love. Today, she hold my hand suddenly and I guess, there is nothing for me to explain further here.
No one knew how I felt about you, about us and I guess, only you know the truth behind everything that happens. I have to take responsibility on the things that happen and accept the fate that we have both gone our different path and own ways. In the future, if our path crosses again, then it's good. But if it's not, then all the best to you and myself.
You know me, I will never give up until I know it's too late and when you started with him exactly a month ago, I knew that instant, it's too late. I gave up that instant. But just my heart is the one holding on and up till now, I have to admit how much I really loved you. But reality and truth is always painful and often time we have to face it openly. I never cried since you started with him. But today, tears roll down for the first time in 1 month. I know, this last post will be the last link between us and after this, we will both go our own ways and may never meet again.
I truly appreciate that you have been loyal and viewing my post every single day. And I am very happy for that. But things that have happen can never be undone.
I just hope you will be truly happy with him and so am I. I may never love the girl like how much I loved you, but things are just the way it is. Sometimes, it's beyond our control.
I can just say 1 thing before I end this. I have never regretted the moment I saw you in the bus. And you will be forever the only girl I loved so much and wanted to marry with. I hope that when you are getting married in the future, please do tell me. That's my only wish and hope from you.
Before I stop, I have a song for you and hope you like it. It's not a thousand years. That will forever be our song and only us. Let us hide our love deep within ourselves. Our love, can be considered true love.A love that is hard and rare to find. A love that may not even exist. But I found it. And it's with you.
Goodbye my love. May our love last forever deep deep deep deep deep inside our heart. I will always and forever love you for a thousand years.
Do not view this blog anymore. Move on, live on, and be happy everyday. Goodnight and have a sweet dream baby.
PS: everything can be thrown away but just 1 thing I can never throw. Daughter.... I will pass this to your friend and throw everything else. Don't worry. I am not going to contact your friend again after I pass daughter to her.
Sadly, the things that you say, is true and I already knew it long ago. We may not be with the person whom we love the most and in the end, we end up being with somebody whom we might not truly love. Today, she hold my hand suddenly and I guess, there is nothing for me to explain further here.
No one knew how I felt about you, about us and I guess, only you know the truth behind everything that happens. I have to take responsibility on the things that happen and accept the fate that we have both gone our different path and own ways. In the future, if our path crosses again, then it's good. But if it's not, then all the best to you and myself.
You know me, I will never give up until I know it's too late and when you started with him exactly a month ago, I knew that instant, it's too late. I gave up that instant. But just my heart is the one holding on and up till now, I have to admit how much I really loved you. But reality and truth is always painful and often time we have to face it openly. I never cried since you started with him. But today, tears roll down for the first time in 1 month. I know, this last post will be the last link between us and after this, we will both go our own ways and may never meet again.
I truly appreciate that you have been loyal and viewing my post every single day. And I am very happy for that. But things that have happen can never be undone.
I just hope you will be truly happy with him and so am I. I may never love the girl like how much I loved you, but things are just the way it is. Sometimes, it's beyond our control.
I can just say 1 thing before I end this. I have never regretted the moment I saw you in the bus. And you will be forever the only girl I loved so much and wanted to marry with. I hope that when you are getting married in the future, please do tell me. That's my only wish and hope from you.
Before I stop, I have a song for you and hope you like it. It's not a thousand years. That will forever be our song and only us. Let us hide our love deep within ourselves. Our love, can be considered true love.A love that is hard and rare to find. A love that may not even exist. But I found it. And it's with you.
Do not view this blog anymore. Move on, live on, and be happy everyday. Goodnight and have a sweet dream baby.
PS: everything can be thrown away but just 1 thing I can never throw. Daughter.... I will pass this to your friend and throw everything else. Don't worry. I am not going to contact your friend again after I pass daughter to her.
Thursday 14 March 2013
28th Day of Recovery
Good morning to you.. Time really flies right. It's already 28 days now since you are together with him. Sometimes, I am still wondering, am I still dreaming? But reality is reality and you are right in some ways that if I keep saying the same thing, I love you forever and always, can I really move on.
To be honest, moving on or not is not a big deal for me. Having another girl beside or not, is not my main priority. It's my life that I wanted to control now and not living in the previous darkness where shadows are always clouding and blocking my judgements.
We often live in a life that we can't control but just have to be responsible with the words we said or do. Just like what we have been going through now. Can we really go back? It will depends on fate in the future and how god has decided the path for us. Maybe in the end, we will live our separate ways but like you say, we have to be responsible and words are powerful. I know and learn about it as well. I have even experienced it badly few months ago. But my words stays as it is for now. Because that's what I felt now.
Whether or not I am able to move on, that's not something I can control now. Take care and enjoy your weekend. I will always love you and forever. Something that I have committed. Maybe I will be with someone whom I don't really love. But just like you, it's life. But I will never hurt another girl unless she is the one.
Have a nice day today and in the weekend as well. Take care of your health and remember that work is not everything. Target need to hit but health and stress level need to be taken care of.
To be honest, moving on or not is not a big deal for me. Having another girl beside or not, is not my main priority. It's my life that I wanted to control now and not living in the previous darkness where shadows are always clouding and blocking my judgements.
We often live in a life that we can't control but just have to be responsible with the words we said or do. Just like what we have been going through now. Can we really go back? It will depends on fate in the future and how god has decided the path for us. Maybe in the end, we will live our separate ways but like you say, we have to be responsible and words are powerful. I know and learn about it as well. I have even experienced it badly few months ago. But my words stays as it is for now. Because that's what I felt now.
Whether or not I am able to move on, that's not something I can control now. Take care and enjoy your weekend. I will always love you and forever. Something that I have committed. Maybe I will be with someone whom I don't really love. But just like you, it's life. But I will never hurt another girl unless she is the one.
Have a nice day today and in the weekend as well. Take care of your health and remember that work is not everything. Target need to hit but health and stress level need to be taken care of.
The end of 27th Day - Questions, Should i?
Sigh.. Really tired for the past few days. Decided to get back early today to get a good rest as I don't think will be free during the whole weekend. Take Monday off as well to clear my leave and do something. 3 days of free days. Planning for some things to accommodate all the 3 days away from KL.
Just now in the evening, I messaged you regarding your life with him and received no response. Guess by that, we all know what's the answer. Just keep it quiet and silent between us and others.
This question keep come spinning around my mind yesterday and today.. Should I? Or should I not? Should I wait? Or should I go forward? Should I express? Or should I keep quiet? I think I will still few more days to keep up with my stand about this issue.
Anyway, I have no energy to blog anymore. While typing, my eyes are closing. Sleep really less this few days and in the last weekend.
Goodnight my beloved baby. I won't message you anymore regarding you and him. No worries ok. Just be happy and everything will be fine.
I love you always and forever. Sweetdreams. And please take good care of yourself.
Just now in the evening, I messaged you regarding your life with him and received no response. Guess by that, we all know what's the answer. Just keep it quiet and silent between us and others.
This question keep come spinning around my mind yesterday and today.. Should I? Or should I not? Should I wait? Or should I go forward? Should I express? Or should I keep quiet? I think I will still few more days to keep up with my stand about this issue.
Anyway, I have no energy to blog anymore. While typing, my eyes are closing. Sleep really less this few days and in the last weekend.
Goodnight my beloved baby. I won't message you anymore regarding you and him. No worries ok. Just be happy and everything will be fine.
I love you always and forever. Sweetdreams. And please take good care of yourself.
27th Day of Recovery
Something unexpectedly happen today. Suddenly I received your message. But I think it's better not to talk about it. We both know actually why in the end, we have to live like this and unable to turn back. At least I understand it very clearly now.
It has been a very busy period for me now, fighting over various issues and work related matters. But life is never easy. I will continue to fight all the uncertainties to build up a better future for myself and the people around me.
To be honest, nothing concerns me more now except for your happiness. I just hope that you are happy being with him now. And not pretending or being with him because you don't have a choice and it's hard to reject because of the things he has done. Life is always about choices. But to be honest, sometimes, once a decision is made, it's really hard to go back...
I will respect your message and not to post anything about me and other girls in this blog. I don't know you have been following me so closely all this while I am especially shocked as to why you still wanted to view my blog but the questions don't need to be answered.
Guess, the things will need to be kept by me for the time being until you are ready to take them back. Like I always say, if I start in a relationship, I will be serious. If I didn't it must be because of certain reasons. I still love you so much and I can't be selfish in this and be unfair to other girls.
I love you very much. Hope you are happy. Your happiness is ultimately mine as well. Take care please. In the end, we will both go thru our own life until our path cross again in the future.
It has been a very busy period for me now, fighting over various issues and work related matters. But life is never easy. I will continue to fight all the uncertainties to build up a better future for myself and the people around me.
To be honest, nothing concerns me more now except for your happiness. I just hope that you are happy being with him now. And not pretending or being with him because you don't have a choice and it's hard to reject because of the things he has done. Life is always about choices. But to be honest, sometimes, once a decision is made, it's really hard to go back...
I will respect your message and not to post anything about me and other girls in this blog. I don't know you have been following me so closely all this while I am especially shocked as to why you still wanted to view my blog but the questions don't need to be answered.
Guess, the things will need to be kept by me for the time being until you are ready to take them back. Like I always say, if I start in a relationship, I will be serious. If I didn't it must be because of certain reasons. I still love you so much and I can't be selfish in this and be unfair to other girls.
I love you very much. Hope you are happy. Your happiness is ultimately mine as well. Take care please. In the end, we will both go thru our own life until our path cross again in the future.
Wednesday 13 March 2013
The end of 26th Day - Very happy night
Again just got home. I don't mind getting home so late every day. I feel that my life now has beginning to feel alive again. At least no more sorrows, no more heart pain, no more stressing, no more thinking negatively about love but it's like love is in the air again. But of course, I just feel happy but not in love with another girl.
Recently got a really young girl whom I got to know and we just hang out in the last 2 night. I feel comfortable and happy with her. But like I always say to you, I will never start a relationship unless I can totally forget about our love and also waiting for the day when my heart will be open again. I feel that she will wait for me and she kinds fond of me. This is because of the action and also the things she do. But overall, I am really happy. At least I am not crying alone in the room anymore.
We had a nice dinner tonight with her friends as well. And then watch movie with her and late night chill out with her friends together. It was fun. And I now understand why you hated me so much for blocking all your freedoms. Anyway, pass is pass, I just want to live in the present and building up my future.
I love you always baby. You will forever be the only girl I love so much. Until my heart can open itself again to the public or to another girl that can steal it back from you. But now, still only you..
Good night baby. Hope you have a sweet dream and happy being with him.
Recently got a really young girl whom I got to know and we just hang out in the last 2 night. I feel comfortable and happy with her. But like I always say to you, I will never start a relationship unless I can totally forget about our love and also waiting for the day when my heart will be open again. I feel that she will wait for me and she kinds fond of me. This is because of the action and also the things she do. But overall, I am really happy. At least I am not crying alone in the room anymore.
We had a nice dinner tonight with her friends as well. And then watch movie with her and late night chill out with her friends together. It was fun. And I now understand why you hated me so much for blocking all your freedoms. Anyway, pass is pass, I just want to live in the present and building up my future.
I love you always baby. You will forever be the only girl I love so much. Until my heart can open itself again to the public or to another girl that can steal it back from you. But now, still only you..
Good night baby. Hope you have a sweet dream and happy being with him.
Tuesday 12 March 2013
26th Day of Recovery
Good morning my baby Ashley.... Hope you will have a bright and lovely Wednesday. Today is office day for me, I guess. No meetings scheduled except for the meeting with my big boss later in the afternoon. But have so many pending things to do. Finance is chasing me for my overtime claim which I have not done since the last 3 months, and other claims for my trips as well. So many receipts.
Anyway, I guess things have been going normal for the both of us now. Life seems to be moving forward as it seems. Of course for you, it has been done much earlier. But for me, I am just starting to catch up with life since all the unanticipated events that has been happening to me in the last few months.
But to be honest, ever since you left me, I am really in the darknest.. Things seems to be coming very negatively at me and the whole world is like crushing down on me badly. I am badly injured both physically and also mentally.
I got to go now. Busy with something else.
Love you baby as always. Hope you have fun today at work.
Anyway, I guess things have been going normal for the both of us now. Life seems to be moving forward as it seems. Of course for you, it has been done much earlier. But for me, I am just starting to catch up with life since all the unanticipated events that has been happening to me in the last few months.
But to be honest, ever since you left me, I am really in the darknest.. Things seems to be coming very negatively at me and the whole world is like crushing down on me badly. I am badly injured both physically and also mentally.
I got to go now. Busy with something else.
Love you baby as always. Hope you have fun today at work.
The end of 25th Day - Oz the Magician
I feel so sleepy now. Just got back home and already 2am. Need to sleep as tomorrow will be another tiring night. Lately, i just go out almost every night. Crazy.. Guess will stop it maybe for 2 nights as this weekend will be hell of crazy partying and going through roller coasters. Finally, found someone that are not afraid of roller coasters, we will be having fun hopefully in one of the theme parks during the weekend.
Btw, watched Oz the Magician with my friend. No doubt, that movie was really good and the effects and also the background used was really great. Although not as good as lord of the rings but still worth the watch. At least to me, it is far better than snitch. The movie was quite long. I think around 2.5 hours.
Really tiring now. I have to stop before I fall asleep on my table. Tomorrow will be a long night again but will rest on Thursday and to have a long sleep.
Goodnight my beloved baby Ashley. Hope you had a good night today. I love you always and forever.
Do take care of yourself and your health. I heard from the MBG in tropicana that you no longer buy any fruits there. Anyway, even if you don't visit there anymore, at least ask him to buy some fruits for you.
Sweetdreams ya... I am going to bath and sleep now...
Btw, watched Oz the Magician with my friend. No doubt, that movie was really good and the effects and also the background used was really great. Although not as good as lord of the rings but still worth the watch. At least to me, it is far better than snitch. The movie was quite long. I think around 2.5 hours.
Really tiring now. I have to stop before I fall asleep on my table. Tomorrow will be a long night again but will rest on Thursday and to have a long sleep.
Goodnight my beloved baby Ashley. Hope you had a good night today. I love you always and forever.
Do take care of yourself and your health. I heard from the MBG in tropicana that you no longer buy any fruits there. Anyway, even if you don't visit there anymore, at least ask him to buy some fruits for you.
Sweetdreams ya... I am going to bath and sleep now...
25th Day of Recovery
What a hectic and busy day at work today... Meeting after meeting. Just manage to get home. No time to even touch my laptop today. That's why can't post anything earlier today. My phone keep having messages coming in from WeChat and have random people keep adding me.
Hmmm. Guess the 7 eye and 2 eye that I am wearing on my wrist is giving some fruitful results after all. But anyway, no time for relationship and definitely no heart left for that unless my heart is able to open up again. Will be meeting up new friend tonight and having a movie. Watching Oz the magician tonight. Very tired though. Hopefully it will be a great night.
I love you very much still. Heart still as stubborn as ever. Never wanted to open for any other girl. Just keep locking itself and waiting for you. Although it's virtually impossible. But anyway, if you need me, I am always here.
Love you always and forever. Have a nice day and night and hopefully you are happy with your life and relationship ya!!
Hmmm. Guess the 7 eye and 2 eye that I am wearing on my wrist is giving some fruitful results after all. But anyway, no time for relationship and definitely no heart left for that unless my heart is able to open up again. Will be meeting up new friend tonight and having a movie. Watching Oz the magician tonight. Very tired though. Hopefully it will be a great night.
I love you very much still. Heart still as stubborn as ever. Never wanted to open for any other girl. Just keep locking itself and waiting for you. Although it's virtually impossible. But anyway, if you need me, I am always here.
Love you always and forever. Have a nice day and night and hopefully you are happy with your life and relationship ya!!
Monday 11 March 2013
The end of 24th Day - Work & special dream
Today as mentioned in my earlier post was full of hectic work load and unnecessary stress created by people who just don't bother much about us. But what to do? We live in a reality world where things are just build and design like this.
Went to the night market at SS2 today after work around 8++ and as usual, circled few rounds before can even find a parking slot. Never come back to this place for some time now. But suddenly really craving for the lotus soup. When I finally found a parking lot, it was nearly 9pm but luckily there is still lotus soup left for me. But of course, my favourite economy rice is gone. So I tried the tomyam fried rice from your favourite stall where you use to order the tomyam noodle. To be honest, the fried rice is just so so but the soup was extremely clear and sour. Nice though but too sour...
Anyway, after dinner, just had a walk for awhile and went back home to rest. While chatting with my friends on Wechat and whatsapp, suddenly fall asleep. And I had a really short dream, it was about a girl, whom I can't really see clearly who she was. But she was waving from me in a distance where light was shining so brightly behind her. Which obviously makes her look really dark in front that covers her face completely. But from the shape of her body, it looks like you although I can't be 100% certain. But anyway, when I walk nearer and nearer to her, she seems to be either getting further away from me, or she is just too far that I can't even reach with just walking. So I decided to run. But strangely, no matter how fast I run, I can't seem to reach her. That makes me so anxious. I continued to ran and ran and ran. And suddenly, I fall and that's when I woke up. I don't know what's the significance of this dream. Just to share what just happen to me.
Love makes people dream and makes people fantasies. But at least, signs are showing me positively that moving on is good for both you and myself. For you, it may be the best gift from me, to just leave you alone. I am doing just perfectly fine now, I think.
I am very tired now and just wanted to have a good sleep. Will watch a movie with another friend tomorrow. Guess this time will watch oz the magician. Should be a good movie to watch this time.
Goodnight and sweet dreams to you. Hope things are going smoothly between you and him. I will love you always and forever and my heart and soul, still longs for you tender hug and kisses. Misses them so much.
Went to the night market at SS2 today after work around 8++ and as usual, circled few rounds before can even find a parking slot. Never come back to this place for some time now. But suddenly really craving for the lotus soup. When I finally found a parking lot, it was nearly 9pm but luckily there is still lotus soup left for me. But of course, my favourite economy rice is gone. So I tried the tomyam fried rice from your favourite stall where you use to order the tomyam noodle. To be honest, the fried rice is just so so but the soup was extremely clear and sour. Nice though but too sour...
Anyway, after dinner, just had a walk for awhile and went back home to rest. While chatting with my friends on Wechat and whatsapp, suddenly fall asleep. And I had a really short dream, it was about a girl, whom I can't really see clearly who she was. But she was waving from me in a distance where light was shining so brightly behind her. Which obviously makes her look really dark in front that covers her face completely. But from the shape of her body, it looks like you although I can't be 100% certain. But anyway, when I walk nearer and nearer to her, she seems to be either getting further away from me, or she is just too far that I can't even reach with just walking. So I decided to run. But strangely, no matter how fast I run, I can't seem to reach her. That makes me so anxious. I continued to ran and ran and ran. And suddenly, I fall and that's when I woke up. I don't know what's the significance of this dream. Just to share what just happen to me.
Love makes people dream and makes people fantasies. But at least, signs are showing me positively that moving on is good for both you and myself. For you, it may be the best gift from me, to just leave you alone. I am doing just perfectly fine now, I think.
I am very tired now and just wanted to have a good sleep. Will watch a movie with another friend tomorrow. Guess this time will watch oz the magician. Should be a good movie to watch this time.
Goodnight and sweet dreams to you. Hope things are going smoothly between you and him. I will love you always and forever and my heart and soul, still longs for you tender hug and kisses. Misses them so much.
24th Day of Recovery
Shit!!! Damn busy today. No time to even rest. Keep talking, walking around and when have time, just need to reply all my emails and attend on pending documents. OMG!!!!
I wonder how's your work? Getting more busier I think with all the targets you need to hit and also the accounts you serve. But guess he is a big help to you in this regards which I will never be.
Life is getting good and better for me now. Ever since the first day you left me. I hope thru time, my heart will be able to open up again just like you. I don't know if you still views this blog or not but even if you didn't, I guess, it means nothing to me anymore. I am getting used to all this silence from your side now and beginning to feel back the life I use to had before I meet you. When I am engage in a relationship, my love means everything to me, maybe too much that when I lost you, it feels like the world is ending. I just realised how stupid I am in thinking this way. In single life, I enjoyed a lot. But not as much as when I am with you when I can actually see my future.
But anyway, recovery seems good for me now and it is getting better as the time goes forward. I will still remember you and loved you because I still can't forget you. That's why I can't go for any girls now although i am seeing quite a number of them. This is the advantages of being single for me. I will never hurt another girl again like how I have hurt you. This is my stand since I meet you and my policy that I will never change.
I love you always baby. Take care and have a nice day today. I wanted to drink lotus soup so much. Maybe will head down to SS2 to get the soup before going back home.
I wonder how's your work? Getting more busier I think with all the targets you need to hit and also the accounts you serve. But guess he is a big help to you in this regards which I will never be.
Life is getting good and better for me now. Ever since the first day you left me. I hope thru time, my heart will be able to open up again just like you. I don't know if you still views this blog or not but even if you didn't, I guess, it means nothing to me anymore. I am getting used to all this silence from your side now and beginning to feel back the life I use to had before I meet you. When I am engage in a relationship, my love means everything to me, maybe too much that when I lost you, it feels like the world is ending. I just realised how stupid I am in thinking this way. In single life, I enjoyed a lot. But not as much as when I am with you when I can actually see my future.
But anyway, recovery seems good for me now and it is getting better as the time goes forward. I will still remember you and loved you because I still can't forget you. That's why I can't go for any girls now although i am seeing quite a number of them. This is the advantages of being single for me. I will never hurt another girl again like how I have hurt you. This is my stand since I meet you and my policy that I will never change.
I love you always baby. Take care and have a nice day today. I wanted to drink lotus soup so much. Maybe will head down to SS2 to get the soup before going back home.
Sunday 10 March 2013
The end of 23rd Day - Lucky Sunday
Hie Baby!! Woke up quite late today and head to lunch with my friend as mention earlier in 1 Utama. Arrive quite late nearly 2pm with a long wait for a car park. After about nearly 20 minutes, manage to find a parking lot at the top floor. Was late for lunch and my friend is already waiting for me.
After lunch at Kim Gary, went to the MPH Bookstore to get some magazine and some financial books to read when free. Spend about nearly 2 hours there.
After that, we went to Starbucks to sit down and there is when the surprise and my luckiest moment happen. While buying my favourite ice mocha, suddenly after payment, the cashier told me that I am one of the lucky customer to have won a free drink in Starbucks. Normally in a day, the cashier will auto generate the lucky winner which came with the receipt of purchase. And I am the first one for that day. I am extremely lucky as I seldom won this kind of prizes before.
But anyway, I am beginning to feel the changes in my life. The positive energies are flowing strongly within my body and all the external factors and environments are improving tremendously at a fast pace. I am very happy with this. After the drinks at the Starbuck and reading the magazines I have purchase, we went for a dinner and then went back straight home. It's really a relaxing outing today. Not much walking and just relax.
How was yours baby Ashley? Did you enjoy your weekend and Sunday? I will message you soon, to give you the things that I still owe. I guess won't be seeing you but just drop it with you. You are happy with your life and I don't want anything else to ruin that happiness. At the same time, I am also getting along well with my life. Although i still love you so much, but there are things that is always and forever best be left alone. Just like our feelings. My feelings for you.
I will always love you forever and ever. Goodnight and sweetdreams. Hope that you will stay healthy always and take good care of yourself. True love will always be with me and you.
After lunch at Kim Gary, went to the MPH Bookstore to get some magazine and some financial books to read when free. Spend about nearly 2 hours there.
After that, we went to Starbucks to sit down and there is when the surprise and my luckiest moment happen. While buying my favourite ice mocha, suddenly after payment, the cashier told me that I am one of the lucky customer to have won a free drink in Starbucks. Normally in a day, the cashier will auto generate the lucky winner which came with the receipt of purchase. And I am the first one for that day. I am extremely lucky as I seldom won this kind of prizes before.
But anyway, I am beginning to feel the changes in my life. The positive energies are flowing strongly within my body and all the external factors and environments are improving tremendously at a fast pace. I am very happy with this. After the drinks at the Starbuck and reading the magazines I have purchase, we went for a dinner and then went back straight home. It's really a relaxing outing today. Not much walking and just relax.
How was yours baby Ashley? Did you enjoy your weekend and Sunday? I will message you soon, to give you the things that I still owe. I guess won't be seeing you but just drop it with you. You are happy with your life and I don't want anything else to ruin that happiness. At the same time, I am also getting along well with my life. Although i still love you so much, but there are things that is always and forever best be left alone. Just like our feelings. My feelings for you.
I will always love you forever and ever. Goodnight and sweetdreams. Hope that you will stay healthy always and take good care of yourself. True love will always be with me and you.
Saturday 9 March 2013
23rd Day of Recovery
Woke up so late today. Already nearly 1.30pm. And was late for my lunch with a friend. Have to rush now and head to my late brunch.
Baby Ashley, have a great Sunday ok. I have nothing much to write now. But when I got home, hopefully, there is some adventure today that I can share with you.
Hope you have fun with your boyfriend and your friends. I will love you always and forever. You will always stay in my mind.
Take care and remember to eat and drink healthy.
Baby Ashley, have a great Sunday ok. I have nothing much to write now. But when I got home, hopefully, there is some adventure today that I can share with you.
Hope you have fun with your boyfriend and your friends. I will love you always and forever. You will always stay in my mind.
Take care and remember to eat and drink healthy.
The end of 22nd Day - 4 Shopping to Malls
Finally I am back to my room after a tiring run today. It's nearly 5am now. Freaking freaking tired. My uni mate just called me during lunch time and give me1 hr to prepare for lunch and a crazy day outing. Went to Subang Bak Kut Teh to have our lunch and we had a really full one. Keep refilling the soup and I took 2 bowl of rice. After that, we went back to my place for me to change as we are playing ice skating later with her other friends as well. It was a crazy day I can say.
After went back to my place and change, we head to Tropicana Mall and although it was really far but actually I am craving for the fruit juice. So just went there with my friend. As usual, ask me where you are and she misunderstood my friend as my girlfriend. Very funny. I keep explaining but they just keep laughing and teasing me. My friends face got red but she knows. But anyway, they say you never came and buy the juice but saw you walking pass before once. Guess the fruit juice is not your favourite anymore. I can understand. People change.
Anyway, after buying the fruits and juice, we head to 1 Utama to get some stuff from there and to pass another stuff to my friend who is working there. After that, finally we head down to Sunway for the ice skating. I actually had 2 hours only in Sunway as I have to rush to Midvalley for an appointment with another friend at 8 pm. Really crazy rush. Had really great fun in Sunway with my uni friend and her friends. Tiring as well as I have to keep driving. Reach Midvalley around 8++ and met with my friend and had a really long chat. We even chatted after the mall is close until 12++. Then final destination, head down to my office with Cai to do some work and finally came back to my room now and updating my blog.
Sorry, didn't take any photos as my phone battery is draining really fast and I just keep trying to save my phone battery. Will take my camera out next time.
But anyway, how did you pass your day? I guess you must be pretty enjoying yourself as well. To be honest, how I wish that we could all join in this activities together. Especially with you around as part of my family. I am sure that it will really be a happening one and very happy. But too bad, things change and peoples change. Already accepted the fact.
Nevertheless, the same old closing sentence again. Hope you are not bored keep listening to this.
I will always love you forever and ever baby. Never in a day I have never thought of you. This blog will be the witness of my true love to you. And remember, true love always hurts and without it, you will never realise how much you really love a person. And true love is always about forgiving and happiness. As long as you are happy, then I am happy.
Goodnight and sweet dreams. Sunday will be another interesting adventure for me. Hope you have a good sleep and a great adventure when you wake up. Take care!!! Have more fruits please although you don't want to visit MBG. You can always make your own or ask him to bring you to somewhere else and do your own combination. Love you always...
After went back to my place and change, we head to Tropicana Mall and although it was really far but actually I am craving for the fruit juice. So just went there with my friend. As usual, ask me where you are and she misunderstood my friend as my girlfriend. Very funny. I keep explaining but they just keep laughing and teasing me. My friends face got red but she knows. But anyway, they say you never came and buy the juice but saw you walking pass before once. Guess the fruit juice is not your favourite anymore. I can understand. People change.
Anyway, after buying the fruits and juice, we head to 1 Utama to get some stuff from there and to pass another stuff to my friend who is working there. After that, finally we head down to Sunway for the ice skating. I actually had 2 hours only in Sunway as I have to rush to Midvalley for an appointment with another friend at 8 pm. Really crazy rush. Had really great fun in Sunway with my uni friend and her friends. Tiring as well as I have to keep driving. Reach Midvalley around 8++ and met with my friend and had a really long chat. We even chatted after the mall is close until 12++. Then final destination, head down to my office with Cai to do some work and finally came back to my room now and updating my blog.
Sorry, didn't take any photos as my phone battery is draining really fast and I just keep trying to save my phone battery. Will take my camera out next time.
But anyway, how did you pass your day? I guess you must be pretty enjoying yourself as well. To be honest, how I wish that we could all join in this activities together. Especially with you around as part of my family. I am sure that it will really be a happening one and very happy. But too bad, things change and peoples change. Already accepted the fact.
Nevertheless, the same old closing sentence again. Hope you are not bored keep listening to this.
I will always love you forever and ever baby. Never in a day I have never thought of you. This blog will be the witness of my true love to you. And remember, true love always hurts and without it, you will never realise how much you really love a person. And true love is always about forgiving and happiness. As long as you are happy, then I am happy.
Goodnight and sweet dreams. Sunday will be another interesting adventure for me. Hope you have a good sleep and a great adventure when you wake up. Take care!!! Have more fruits please although you don't want to visit MBG. You can always make your own or ask him to bring you to somewhere else and do your own combination. Love you always...
Friday 8 March 2013
22nd Day of Recovery
Good afternoon baby... Got a bit hangover from yesterday drinking at Skybar.. Woke up by the call from my university classmate asking me to bak kut teh in klang for brunch.. Damn crazy. But anyway, just agreed and here I am writing my new post and immediately after this, need to get ready, fetch her and drive all the way to Klang.
After this, going to head back to the office for a while with her to settle some of my work and then head off to another interesting adventure. I feel that life is really short, I have grieve enough and cried enough, it's really time, I do something for myself and be happy for it.
I love you baby!!! Nevertheless, I still wish you happiness with him.I miss the fruit juice in MBG in Tropicana especially. I have never been there since the last 1 month. Will visit there later. Because really craving for my favourite Apple, Orange and yoghurt.
I love you so much baby and will always do forever. Please take care of yourself and have an interesting weekend. I will keep you updated of my adventure later.
Have a nice day. Have fun.. Be happy and most importantly, if there is anything, I am always here for you.
After this, going to head back to the office for a while with her to settle some of my work and then head off to another interesting adventure. I feel that life is really short, I have grieve enough and cried enough, it's really time, I do something for myself and be happy for it.
I love you baby!!! Nevertheless, I still wish you happiness with him.I miss the fruit juice in MBG in Tropicana especially. I have never been there since the last 1 month. Will visit there later. Because really craving for my favourite Apple, Orange and yoghurt.
I love you so much baby and will always do forever. Please take care of yourself and have an interesting weekend. I will keep you updated of my adventure later.
Have a nice day. Have fun.. Be happy and most importantly, if there is anything, I am always here for you.
The end of 21st Day - KLCC, Pavilion, Snitch & SKYBAR
Finally the end of the 3 weeks of recovery!! I feel much better today. Have great fun visited the KLCC, but too bad the sky bridge was full. Had to visit that another time. To be honest, I have never been there before. First time there. Haha... But feel excited though. Had a walk around and done some light shopping. Bought a new belt for myself and wanted to bought 1 new jacket in esprit. Really nice but too bad, don't have my size..
We also manage to had a walk at the KLCC park. Never knew that the park was so big. Hmmm.. Interesting walk and chat today.. Really feel relax and happy. Hope this weekend would be the same as well.
After that, we went to Pavilion for a movie. Watched Snitch which stars The Rock!! But too bad, it was a big disappointment to me. The movie sucks big time plus it has not much action at all. Big NO NO if you plan to watch it with whoever. It's not a good movie at all.
We had dinner at a japanese restaurant. Really nice meal. Enjoyed it!! But finally the finale that I have been waiting. The SKYBAR! I never been there before. It was a great place to chill and to have some light drinks and chat. From now on, will make myself more available for night out with friends. Have great fun today.. Thanks!!!
Anyway, I guess you must have a tough friday fighting for your sales. Hope that everything turns out good for you Ashley. I think you will be able to achieve what you dream of. I have complete confident in you and will always support you.
Weekend is up now. Hope you will have the best and relaxing weekend with him and your friends, colleagues. I miss you so much every time I think of you. But I know, you are having good time and happy. So, basically, nothing to worry much. Tomorrow, hopefully another great day for me. Will keep you updated on what will happen.
I love you always and forever my baby Ashley. Never forget this, although I am happily enjoying myself and single life, but from time to time, I am still thinking of you.
Have a sweet dream tonight. Goodnight and take care my baby Ashley.
We also manage to had a walk at the KLCC park. Never knew that the park was so big. Hmmm.. Interesting walk and chat today.. Really feel relax and happy. Hope this weekend would be the same as well.
After that, we went to Pavilion for a movie. Watched Snitch which stars The Rock!! But too bad, it was a big disappointment to me. The movie sucks big time plus it has not much action at all. Big NO NO if you plan to watch it with whoever. It's not a good movie at all.
We had dinner at a japanese restaurant. Really nice meal. Enjoyed it!! But finally the finale that I have been waiting. The SKYBAR! I never been there before. It was a great place to chill and to have some light drinks and chat. From now on, will make myself more available for night out with friends. Have great fun today.. Thanks!!!
Anyway, I guess you must have a tough friday fighting for your sales. Hope that everything turns out good for you Ashley. I think you will be able to achieve what you dream of. I have complete confident in you and will always support you.
Weekend is up now. Hope you will have the best and relaxing weekend with him and your friends, colleagues. I miss you so much every time I think of you. But I know, you are having good time and happy. So, basically, nothing to worry much. Tomorrow, hopefully another great day for me. Will keep you updated on what will happen.
I love you always and forever my baby Ashley. Never forget this, although I am happily enjoying myself and single life, but from time to time, I am still thinking of you.
Have a sweet dream tonight. Goodnight and take care my baby Ashley.
Thursday 7 March 2013
21st Day of Recover
Baby!!! Today really no time. I am on half day off today. Really crazy hectic day. Got meeting in the morning and my Bali conference preparations.
Guess no time to really write a proper blog this time. But just to let you know that no matter how busy I am, I will still be here for you and always thinking of you.
Love you always baby. Forever and ever you will be on my mind.
Take care of your health and eat more fruits ya.. Medical check up is important to you too and I know you always very busy. So please don't stress yourself too much.
Guess no time to really write a proper blog this time. But just to let you know that no matter how busy I am, I will still be here for you and always thinking of you.
Love you always baby. Forever and ever you will be on my mind.
Take care of your health and eat more fruits ya.. Medical check up is important to you too and I know you always very busy. So please don't stress yourself too much.
The end of 20th Day - Time flies
Tomorrow is going to be 21 days. 3 weeks you have been with him. Time flies really fast. But what doesn't seem to go away besides everything else is my heart and love to you. No matter how hard I tried to push it away. Tried to forget you and everything about us, the more I will remember you.
"The best thing about loving and being hurt is that you get to know what true love really is. For as gold is tested in fire, and so will love be perfected in pain."
The phrase above really explains well what is the real meaning of true love. I guess mine is tested now but what about yours?
Guess you must be sleeping now like a pig. Work must be really tough for you and you must be fighting really hard for your sales and targets. I hope that everything will be smooth for you and always will pray for miracle in your life. Never give up as I will always support you. Never lose faith as I will always be the faith and light for you. Never lose hope as you will never know for sure that hope has left you. Hope might just be standing somewhere observing you and every decisions you make. And hope will help you go through the obstacles in your life.
I love you always baby and forever. Love people say, is the greatest medicine anybody can asked for. Have a sweet dreams and hope that your sleep will be until morning and most important, you are very safe and happy now.
Take care my love forever.
"The best thing about loving and being hurt is that you get to know what true love really is. For as gold is tested in fire, and so will love be perfected in pain."
The phrase above really explains well what is the real meaning of true love. I guess mine is tested now but what about yours?
Guess you must be sleeping now like a pig. Work must be really tough for you and you must be fighting really hard for your sales and targets. I hope that everything will be smooth for you and always will pray for miracle in your life. Never give up as I will always support you. Never lose faith as I will always be the faith and light for you. Never lose hope as you will never know for sure that hope has left you. Hope might just be standing somewhere observing you and every decisions you make. And hope will help you go through the obstacles in your life.
I love you always baby and forever. Love people say, is the greatest medicine anybody can asked for. Have a sweet dreams and hope that your sleep will be until morning and most important, you are very safe and happy now.
Take care my love forever.
Horse? Donkey? Cow? - Love, excitement, obstacles, etc
A friend of mine send me this today? It's really funny. Whatever comes into your mind first will be the answer. Can you figure that out?
So?? After looking at the photo, what do you think?
Anyway, life is too boring if there is no excitement in it. And we have to always find excitement in our own life in order not to live the life as another person's puppet. I learn this during my single life but never really applied it properly. But sometimes, out of all this excitements that we have found, there is always something missing which will make it spark and gives that one magical moment we can never forget.
Until today from the day we broke up, I have never found anyone that can give me that spark. Guess, only you took it away from me when we first met. It was the greatest spark ever and your smile, was simply amazing and melted the heart of whoever gazing into that beautiful pair of eyes.
I love you so much baby... Life is often time unexplainable, short, full of surprises and things you can never expect. Look and go through every obstacle with open heart and there, happiness will come to you. I am still waiting for my heart to be open. Until then, I will always live my life in a 50% mode and not 100%. The other 50% is with you.
I pray that god is always with you and your family. Love you always and forever. Hope you will keep that smile going even if sadness surrounds you. Because I will always be shining above you and light up your path whenever darkness comes.
Have a nice remaining evening with your love ones.
So?? After looking at the photo, what do you think?
Anyway, life is too boring if there is no excitement in it. And we have to always find excitement in our own life in order not to live the life as another person's puppet. I learn this during my single life but never really applied it properly. But sometimes, out of all this excitements that we have found, there is always something missing which will make it spark and gives that one magical moment we can never forget.
Until today from the day we broke up, I have never found anyone that can give me that spark. Guess, only you took it away from me when we first met. It was the greatest spark ever and your smile, was simply amazing and melted the heart of whoever gazing into that beautiful pair of eyes.
I love you so much baby... Life is often time unexplainable, short, full of surprises and things you can never expect. Look and go through every obstacle with open heart and there, happiness will come to you. I am still waiting for my heart to be open. Until then, I will always live my life in a 50% mode and not 100%. The other 50% is with you.
I pray that god is always with you and your family. Love you always and forever. Hope you will keep that smile going even if sadness surrounds you. Because I will always be shining above you and light up your path whenever darkness comes.
Have a nice remaining evening with your love ones.
Wednesday 6 March 2013
20th Day of Recovery
I have said too much until now, I am lost of words on how to describe my situation. Things are still the same, work, relationship, friends, family, colleagues. The only things I am really concern now more is the things happening around my work place.
Tomorrow hopefully will be a beautiful day for me. And hope for you too since it's the last day of work but for me, it's an off day. But I still need to go for a meeting in the morning before I can finally relax and enjoy the rest of my friday and weekend.
Hope things are going fine with you there. I think you must be very happy now and maybe never regret with the decision you make about leaving me. If you are happy, then it's ok. I will be happy from you and continue with my present life now. I am quite comfortable now with my life although I believe that with you around, it would actually be perfect. I still think back of our happy moments together most of the time. Really misses it so so much. Everything we do, the laughter we had before we sleep. The way we hug each other and how I comfortably lie on your side. Miss all that.
Anyway, as long as you are happy, then I won't care much actually. Love you always and forever as usual. I will never stop saying all this words to you at the end of my every sentence. Take care and be happy always. Hope your health is getting better now and you are better than before.
Love you always baby Ashley.
Tomorrow hopefully will be a beautiful day for me. And hope for you too since it's the last day of work but for me, it's an off day. But I still need to go for a meeting in the morning before I can finally relax and enjoy the rest of my friday and weekend.
Hope things are going fine with you there. I think you must be very happy now and maybe never regret with the decision you make about leaving me. If you are happy, then it's ok. I will be happy from you and continue with my present life now. I am quite comfortable now with my life although I believe that with you around, it would actually be perfect. I still think back of our happy moments together most of the time. Really misses it so so much. Everything we do, the laughter we had before we sleep. The way we hug each other and how I comfortably lie on your side. Miss all that.
Anyway, as long as you are happy, then I won't care much actually. Love you always and forever as usual. I will never stop saying all this words to you at the end of my every sentence. Take care and be happy always. Hope your health is getting better now and you are better than before.
Love you always baby Ashley.
The end of 19th Day - Scary VAMPIRE!!!
It's another day gone without you by my side. Although everything keeps reminding me of you but I still can live my life as usual now. Getting more use to it although misses you so damn much. Worked till very late today until 9.30pm.
Some creepy incident scared me to death just now in the pantry around 8.30pm. About 8 like that, everyone in the office is gone except me, still working. Then I heard some sounds in front which makes me really curious. I thought somebody was out there in the front reception. So i just called out and see if anybody responded. NO ONE!
Then after that, I keep hearing the sound again coming from the front. From my instinct, I just walk to the direction of that sound and trying to figure what the hell it was. And right in the middle of my office, the sound came from above the ceiling in the ventilation system. OMG! The sound keeps moving around, and definitely, there is something inside which I don't know what is it. I thought it's just a mouse or something else. So I don't care much and continue walking back to my place and work.
Around 8.30, I am thirsty and so coincidentally, my pantry switch for the light was out of order. So I can't turn on the lights. But there is this little light from the office that shines thru the pantry. But it's still in the darkness. While walking towards the refrigerator, I saw something moving on the floor. And immediately it squeak so loud that it made me jump up and got a big shock!! I don't know what it was that time as it's whole body is curled up and I thought it was a frog or toad. But it squeak again and move. This time with it's wing open. I quickly open my handphone torch and shine to it. To my surprise, it was a little vampire (bat). Scary right. I ignore it quickly and just go back to my place to work without taking any water.
And suddenly this thing just fly out from the pantry into the open office. Got shocked again. But the vampire can't move much as i think it was injured. So, slowly, I take something and pushed it out to the main door and outside the office and leave it there. It took me 15 minutes to do so. Here is the photo below on the little vampire.
But anyway, it just scared me up at night as this creature is so black in colour in the dark while in the pastry just now.
Ok. Done talking for now. Really tired and need to get some rest for some adventure tomorrow. Friday will be a big adventure for me again. Going to some sight seeing with my friend. Take the day off on Friday from all the work and things that happen to me since the beginning of this year.
Baby, I hope you had a great day today both at work and with your love ones. Hope you enjoy yourself. I miss you so much and every night to be honest, while hugging my booster, I always think of hugging you.
I love you so much baby. More than anything else in this world. Just want you to know that even time, and everyone else, couldn't remove my love to you. I will always love you forever. Take care, goodnight and have a sweet dreams. If you need anything, you know where to find me. I will came to you instantly.
Some creepy incident scared me to death just now in the pantry around 8.30pm. About 8 like that, everyone in the office is gone except me, still working. Then I heard some sounds in front which makes me really curious. I thought somebody was out there in the front reception. So i just called out and see if anybody responded. NO ONE!
Then after that, I keep hearing the sound again coming from the front. From my instinct, I just walk to the direction of that sound and trying to figure what the hell it was. And right in the middle of my office, the sound came from above the ceiling in the ventilation system. OMG! The sound keeps moving around, and definitely, there is something inside which I don't know what is it. I thought it's just a mouse or something else. So I don't care much and continue walking back to my place and work.
Around 8.30, I am thirsty and so coincidentally, my pantry switch for the light was out of order. So I can't turn on the lights. But there is this little light from the office that shines thru the pantry. But it's still in the darkness. While walking towards the refrigerator, I saw something moving on the floor. And immediately it squeak so loud that it made me jump up and got a big shock!! I don't know what it was that time as it's whole body is curled up and I thought it was a frog or toad. But it squeak again and move. This time with it's wing open. I quickly open my handphone torch and shine to it. To my surprise, it was a little vampire (bat). Scary right. I ignore it quickly and just go back to my place to work without taking any water.
And suddenly this thing just fly out from the pantry into the open office. Got shocked again. But the vampire can't move much as i think it was injured. So, slowly, I take something and pushed it out to the main door and outside the office and leave it there. It took me 15 minutes to do so. Here is the photo below on the little vampire.
Ok. Done talking for now. Really tired and need to get some rest for some adventure tomorrow. Friday will be a big adventure for me again. Going to some sight seeing with my friend. Take the day off on Friday from all the work and things that happen to me since the beginning of this year.
Baby, I hope you had a great day today both at work and with your love ones. Hope you enjoy yourself. I miss you so much and every night to be honest, while hugging my booster, I always think of hugging you.
I love you so much baby. More than anything else in this world. Just want you to know that even time, and everyone else, couldn't remove my love to you. I will always love you forever. Take care, goodnight and have a sweet dreams. If you need anything, you know where to find me. I will came to you instantly.
Tuesday 5 March 2013
19th Day of Recovery
Good morning my beloved baby Ashley... Today is really a quiet day in the office. Everyone went to another department's event in KL. A good day for me to do my own things and read thru some legal documents. Now I have to be involved in this and read more legal documents to equip myself in this knowledge and know what my right is as a citizen of Malaysia.
I try to make my life as interesting as possible, meeting many people, try to open more doors to different possibilities and try to open my heart as well. But I can't. I just know that all those girls, just remind me of you. I can't get over you at all. You are still and always will be the only girl I love. Like I say, I remember the pain you went thru with me and I remember everything that we went thru together. Those feelings are real. And it can never be erase. I will never hurt another girl again for the same reason I hurt you. If can, I just want to compensate on the things I have done wrong to you. If can't, I will just wish you happiness in your life just like what I am doing now.
Have a good working day today. Hope it's productive. Long time never heard any complains from you. This morning, in the radio, I heard our favourite song again. I wonder if you hear all this songs, will it still reminds you of me and our memories?
Anyway, baby, I love you very much and forever. I will never leave you alone when you need me. Just give me a call, I will come straight to you from wherever and whoever I am with. Take care and be safe always.
I try to make my life as interesting as possible, meeting many people, try to open more doors to different possibilities and try to open my heart as well. But I can't. I just know that all those girls, just remind me of you. I can't get over you at all. You are still and always will be the only girl I love. Like I say, I remember the pain you went thru with me and I remember everything that we went thru together. Those feelings are real. And it can never be erase. I will never hurt another girl again for the same reason I hurt you. If can, I just want to compensate on the things I have done wrong to you. If can't, I will just wish you happiness in your life just like what I am doing now.
Have a good working day today. Hope it's productive. Long time never heard any complains from you. This morning, in the radio, I heard our favourite song again. I wonder if you hear all this songs, will it still reminds you of me and our memories?
Anyway, baby, I love you very much and forever. I will never leave you alone when you need me. Just give me a call, I will come straight to you from wherever and whoever I am with. Take care and be safe always.
The end of 18th Day - Jack the Giant Slayer
I'm home. It's already 1am++. Feel sleepy now. After bath will go sleep... Had a long dinner with my friend today. After that we watched Jack the Giant Slayer. Had cordon bleu as dinner. It was awesome although the chicken was a bit too much. Can't finish off 2 piece of it.
The movie was great. I think you must have watched it with him probably. If not, you should go and watch it. Work we can never finish. Remember baby, you need to relax yourself and not to worry too much about your work ok. I know it is very stress for you as you have too many things to cover, but always remember, I will always and forever have your back.
I may have lead back my single life and looking fine with it but my heart still loves you very much. You know this. You felt it too. I can let go of you to be with someone else, but I can never let go of you from my heart.
I will always love you forever and this is promise from my earlier messages to you and I will keep it to prove it to you that in this world, true love do exist.
Goodnight and have a sweet sweet dreams. Long time never hug you to sleep. I only can hug my booster now everyday thinking that it was you. I love you always and forever ever you will remain in my heart.
Take care my love.....
The movie was great. I think you must have watched it with him probably. If not, you should go and watch it. Work we can never finish. Remember baby, you need to relax yourself and not to worry too much about your work ok. I know it is very stress for you as you have too many things to cover, but always remember, I will always and forever have your back.
I may have lead back my single life and looking fine with it but my heart still loves you very much. You know this. You felt it too. I can let go of you to be with someone else, but I can never let go of you from my heart.
I will always love you forever and this is promise from my earlier messages to you and I will keep it to prove it to you that in this world, true love do exist.
Goodnight and have a sweet sweet dreams. Long time never hug you to sleep. I only can hug my booster now everyday thinking that it was you. I love you always and forever ever you will remain in my heart.
Take care my love.....
Monday 4 March 2013
18th Day of Recovery
My life now is about the battle to survive and through all this obstacles that never failed to find me all the time. Battling through our love life is already tough but now I have to go through a tough and complicated legal procedures that both my bosses initiate. It has given me tremendous stress nevertheless and I just hope all this will be over soon.
Work has been much and stress for me as since the beginning with many things to cope. I just need more time to relax and think for myself. It's 1500 now and after awhile, I will release myself from this crazy office and just head off to a dinner and maybe movie with my friends.
I need more time of my own!!! Baby, how I really wishes that you were still with me now. At least, I believe things would be far better than now. I am sure that I can go through this better with you around. But of course, without you now, I still need to fight thru this crazy battle.
How are you today?? How is your sales actually? Hope that your work is doing really fine and your relationship with him is going stable and better. I believe you are very happy now.
Maybe you no longer observe my blog and view it regularly. But it's good in a way. I will still update it daily when my heart still has you in it. I will never stop.
I love you always and forever. Hope that you are happy always and stay healthy.
Take care my love...
Work has been much and stress for me as since the beginning with many things to cope. I just need more time to relax and think for myself. It's 1500 now and after awhile, I will release myself from this crazy office and just head off to a dinner and maybe movie with my friends.
I need more time of my own!!! Baby, how I really wishes that you were still with me now. At least, I believe things would be far better than now. I am sure that I can go through this better with you around. But of course, without you now, I still need to fight thru this crazy battle.
How are you today?? How is your sales actually? Hope that your work is doing really fine and your relationship with him is going stable and better. I believe you are very happy now.
Maybe you no longer observe my blog and view it regularly. But it's good in a way. I will still update it daily when my heart still has you in it. I will never stop.
I love you always and forever. Hope that you are happy always and stay healthy.
Take care my love...
The end of 17th Day - Scary politics and legal lawsuits
Baby Ashley, if possible, always avoid this type of conflicts of interest in an international organisation. Especially with different bosses of different nationality. The result could be disastrous in the end and involves too many different parties.
Now, I really need to be careful in the things I wrote here. I can't do much now. I really hope you can keep this blog a big secret just between the 2 of us forever. It is very important.
Have a good night sleep. I will be very busy thinking of my next step on how to handle all this properly and in a good manner.
Always remember this, I may have done things wrong to you in the past, but nevertheless, I still love you very much and will always think of you and pray for you and your family. I never forget the smile you gave me when I first saw you.
I love you always and forever. Goodnight and sweet dreams. Please take care of yourself and never look back on me anymore. You deserve a much better guy.
Now, I really need to be careful in the things I wrote here. I can't do much now. I really hope you can keep this blog a big secret just between the 2 of us forever. It is very important.
Have a good night sleep. I will be very busy thinking of my next step on how to handle all this properly and in a good manner.
Always remember this, I may have done things wrong to you in the past, but nevertheless, I still love you very much and will always think of you and pray for you and your family. I never forget the smile you gave me when I first saw you.
I love you always and forever. Goodnight and sweet dreams. Please take care of yourself and never look back on me anymore. You deserve a much better guy.
17th Day of Recovery
Baby Ashley, so many things happening on me about the office politics. I am really stress. it has went into the highest level now and both my 2 big bosses have filed a suit against each other.
I can't say more now as things are being checked, conversations recorded, movements monitored and a lot of things going on right now with my company. They are both involving me which freaks me out as I am just a small potato in my organisation. I have no idea why they both wanted to resort to such ways to pull me into their own wars.
Today, I received weird messages, scary messages, you are lucky baby, that you have left me and be with him. I don't want to get you involve in this. They are attacking my personal life now. This is the most I can say in this blog. I just wish I could talk to someone whom is not my colleague about this.
I love you so much baby even though we have broken up. I still wish you happiness. Hope things are going really well with you and him. I am really happy for you. True love if you know, is all about giving and never receiving. And often it is painful. This is what I am experiencing now but I am really happy for you sincerely.
I love you always and forever. Take care ya baby. I am worried about your safety. Make sure at night, let him drive you around.
I can't say more now as things are being checked, conversations recorded, movements monitored and a lot of things going on right now with my company. They are both involving me which freaks me out as I am just a small potato in my organisation. I have no idea why they both wanted to resort to such ways to pull me into their own wars.
Today, I received weird messages, scary messages, you are lucky baby, that you have left me and be with him. I don't want to get you involve in this. They are attacking my personal life now. This is the most I can say in this blog. I just wish I could talk to someone whom is not my colleague about this.
I love you so much baby even though we have broken up. I still wish you happiness. Hope things are going really well with you and him. I am really happy for you. True love if you know, is all about giving and never receiving. And often it is painful. This is what I am experiencing now but I am really happy for you sincerely.
I love you always and forever. Take care ya baby. I am worried about your safety. Make sure at night, let him drive you around.
Sunday 3 March 2013
The end of 16th Day - Scary policeman
Just now when my friend got home, she was approached by fake policeman.They knock on her window car so hard that she had to wind it down and they asked her to get off the car. She just keep honking and tried to drive away but the policeman stand in front of her car. They say she they notice she was talking on the phone and her car nearly bang into the police car. But she said it never happen. So she is force to get down and the police got her driving and IC and nearly force her into their car but she insisted that she did nothing wrong. After a while, many people were came out and see what happen and then only the policeman leave after the security guards came. But even the security guards didn't do anything as the policeman just said it was non of their business.
Nowadays there are lots of incidents like this. I just hope you are careful. I don't want to see any bad things happening on you. I have sent you lots of police station numbers around the Petaling Jaya neighborhood. Please call them if you face any problems like this in the future and never get down from the car. It's very dangerous to do so and you will never know what will happen to you.
What a night for her and myself. But I worry about you the most in the future. At night, if there is nothing avoid driving and ask him to fetch you in and out ok.
I love you always and forever. Please take care of yourself and be careful of your surroundings.
Goodnight and sweet dreams. I will pray that you and your family will be safe always and forever.
Nowadays there are lots of incidents like this. I just hope you are careful. I don't want to see any bad things happening on you. I have sent you lots of police station numbers around the Petaling Jaya neighborhood. Please call them if you face any problems like this in the future and never get down from the car. It's very dangerous to do so and you will never know what will happen to you.
What a night for her and myself. But I worry about you the most in the future. At night, if there is nothing avoid driving and ask him to fetch you in and out ok.
I love you always and forever. Please take care of yourself and be careful of your surroundings.
Goodnight and sweet dreams. I will pray that you and your family will be safe always and forever.
Imagine me without you.....
As long as stars shine down from heaven
and the rivers run into the sea
till the end of time forever
you're the only love i will need
In my life you are all that matters
in my eyes the only truth i see
when my hopes and dreams have shattered
you're the one that's there for me
when i found you i was blessed
And I will never leave you, I need youuuu
Imagine me without you
I will be lost and so confuse
I wouldn't last a day
I will be afraid
without you there to see me through
Just reach home. Listening to some musics again. While thinking of you, getting bath and ready for dinner. It just happen that whatever I do, I just keep on thinking of you. My heart and mind is multitasking all the time. Almost all the time with you in it.
No news from you in the past 2 weeks. Wondering how are you with your life and work. Guess I have no more right to ask you this.
Hope you have fun today. Going to bath now.
Take care and enjoy your dinner later with whoever. I hope I don't bump into you and him. Really don't wish to see that awkward moment when I see you face to face with you holding his hand.
Nevertheless, I will still always love you forever and ever.
and the rivers run into the sea
till the end of time forever
you're the only love i will need
In my life you are all that matters
in my eyes the only truth i see
when my hopes and dreams have shattered
you're the one that's there for me
when i found you i was blessed
And I will never leave you, I need youuuu
Imagine me without you
I will be lost and so confuse
I wouldn't last a day
I will be afraid
without you there to see me through
Just reach home. Listening to some musics again. While thinking of you, getting bath and ready for dinner. It just happen that whatever I do, I just keep on thinking of you. My heart and mind is multitasking all the time. Almost all the time with you in it.
No news from you in the past 2 weeks. Wondering how are you with your life and work. Guess I have no more right to ask you this.
Hope you have fun today. Going to bath now.
Take care and enjoy your dinner later with whoever. I hope I don't bump into you and him. Really don't wish to see that awkward moment when I see you face to face with you holding his hand.
Nevertheless, I will still always love you forever and ever.
Saturday 2 March 2013
16th Day of Recovery
It is a beautiful Sunday today. Good for a walk around the beach and just sit down to read some books. Did that the whole morning until the sun begins to feel really scorching hot then decided to head back to my room.
Wonder what is your plan for today? Anyway, hope you enjoyed your Sunday as well. It's already 16 days now and keep counting. You are so hard to forget and my heart just couldn't stop thinking over you. Anyway, I have been writing daily about how I feel and what I am doing and it's almost the same everyday. I wish there is something new for me to write about. Something interesting in my life just like yours. Love is really hard to forget. Especially when you love from your heart.
Hope you have fun today. I will love you always and forever. I will be heading to some sight seeing places later in the afternoon before heading back to KL. It will be another tiring day. But at least away from all the work and stress.
Take care ya my love. You know you are weak. Make sure you consume more vitamins and also to regularly have your body check. Any help you need, I am always here for you.
Love you always and a thousand years to come. Miss you so much my beloved baby.
Wonder what is your plan for today? Anyway, hope you enjoyed your Sunday as well. It's already 16 days now and keep counting. You are so hard to forget and my heart just couldn't stop thinking over you. Anyway, I have been writing daily about how I feel and what I am doing and it's almost the same everyday. I wish there is something new for me to write about. Something interesting in my life just like yours. Love is really hard to forget. Especially when you love from your heart.
Hope you have fun today. I will love you always and forever. I will be heading to some sight seeing places later in the afternoon before heading back to KL. It will be another tiring day. But at least away from all the work and stress.
Take care ya my love. You know you are weak. Make sure you consume more vitamins and also to regularly have your body check. Any help you need, I am always here for you.
Love you always and a thousand years to come. Miss you so much my beloved baby.
The end of 15th Day - I'm still loving you....
When I close my eyes, I think of you
and the times we had been through
even though we are far apart right now
I remember back when you were here with me
how you made my world complete
but now I am left alone
we talk about love and hope
wish we could start our life alone
I wish that I could live without you
Listening to songs whole night. Looking back at our photos.... Thinking back of the memories you left for me... Nothing can change now...
Maybe in the next few days, I am going to message you to give you back the remaining things. Maybe you still don't want to see me, but even if not, it's fine. I just want to drop the things to you. Because looking at them just keeps reminding me of you. You know, until now, I still can't believe the things I see now. You are with another guy for 2 weeks now. My love....... I just hope all this could quickly fade away.
People always tells me, when you really love someone, no matter what happen and how bad they treated you, you will still love them. You love them not because of the things they have done wrong to you but because of them. Maybe you hate the things they do but not the person.
Anyway, I no longer can read your mind and be part of your life anymore. What I see in front of me is a happy you with him. This is enough to stop me from going near you or contact you anymore. After returning the final things to you, I am disappearing from this place and your life.
I will always love you forever and ever. Although the guy you love is not me anymore, it doesn't really matter to me. We shouldn't always do the same thing others did to you. We should always be fair and be ourselves. Take care my love.. Stay happy with him. Time will take me far far away from you.
and the times we had been through
even though we are far apart right now
I remember back when you were here with me
how you made my world complete
but now I am left alone
we talk about love and hope
wish we could start our life alone
I wish that I could live without you
Listening to songs whole night. Looking back at our photos.... Thinking back of the memories you left for me... Nothing can change now...
Maybe in the next few days, I am going to message you to give you back the remaining things. Maybe you still don't want to see me, but even if not, it's fine. I just want to drop the things to you. Because looking at them just keeps reminding me of you. You know, until now, I still can't believe the things I see now. You are with another guy for 2 weeks now. My love....... I just hope all this could quickly fade away.
People always tells me, when you really love someone, no matter what happen and how bad they treated you, you will still love them. You love them not because of the things they have done wrong to you but because of them. Maybe you hate the things they do but not the person.
Anyway, I no longer can read your mind and be part of your life anymore. What I see in front of me is a happy you with him. This is enough to stop me from going near you or contact you anymore. After returning the final things to you, I am disappearing from this place and your life.
I will always love you forever and ever. Although the guy you love is not me anymore, it doesn't really matter to me. We shouldn't always do the same thing others did to you. We should always be fair and be ourselves. Take care my love.. Stay happy with him. Time will take me far far away from you.
15th Day of Recovery
Good afternoon baby. Everyday, I keep on counting down on the days of recovery. But without any sense of direction and without any hope. I go out with girls, I join my friends in their outings, but I still can't get over with you. I can only keep this feelings in my heart. No one else knew how much I really love you. It has been more than 2 months now, and I really wish I could live without you.
Even far far away from you, I am still thinking of you every single day and hoping that we could be reunited once again. I keep remembering the words you said to me. All the loves you once had for me. That you will love me a thousand years, that your love to me will never fade, and you are suffering in pain alone. I wonder if you still feel it now. Although deep inside I really wanted you to be happy, sometimes, I had this selfish thought about you loving me deeply.
Nevertheless, I will still stay away from you and stop contacting you. The only things that I still owe you is the 1 pack that I need to return to you. After this, everything about material and realistic about you will disappear slowly from my life. What is left is just the memories about us. Everyday, I keep looking at your photos, I will tell myself. Are you real? Did you really exist or it's all just a big long dream that I am having. Is all this photos, memories, all real? If it is, why the ending should be like this? I really hate myself.
Anyway, no point talking about this, because you are now happy and will never see me again. I continue to hope and wish you are happy with him. It's time for a walk around the beach and to think of something else. I am going to Japan in first week of April, after i leave my company. At least no need take leave. Things change so fast. Everything, I once dream of.
Tomorrow should be our 1 year anniversary. And a big surprise from me to you. It's all gone. Ok. Have to stop thinking back now. It's really time to look forward. You have your own life. And you will definitely enjoy your life now. I miss you so much btw. So wanted to hug you and so wanted to kiss you deeply.
I will always love you forever and ever. Take care my love. Remember about your health and body. If there is anything you need, I will always be there first to offer myself.
Even far far away from you, I am still thinking of you every single day and hoping that we could be reunited once again. I keep remembering the words you said to me. All the loves you once had for me. That you will love me a thousand years, that your love to me will never fade, and you are suffering in pain alone. I wonder if you still feel it now. Although deep inside I really wanted you to be happy, sometimes, I had this selfish thought about you loving me deeply.
Nevertheless, I will still stay away from you and stop contacting you. The only things that I still owe you is the 1 pack that I need to return to you. After this, everything about material and realistic about you will disappear slowly from my life. What is left is just the memories about us. Everyday, I keep looking at your photos, I will tell myself. Are you real? Did you really exist or it's all just a big long dream that I am having. Is all this photos, memories, all real? If it is, why the ending should be like this? I really hate myself.
Anyway, no point talking about this, because you are now happy and will never see me again. I continue to hope and wish you are happy with him. It's time for a walk around the beach and to think of something else. I am going to Japan in first week of April, after i leave my company. At least no need take leave. Things change so fast. Everything, I once dream of.
Tomorrow should be our 1 year anniversary. And a big surprise from me to you. It's all gone. Ok. Have to stop thinking back now. It's really time to look forward. You have your own life. And you will definitely enjoy your life now. I miss you so much btw. So wanted to hug you and so wanted to kiss you deeply.
I will always love you forever and ever. Take care my love. Remember about your health and body. If there is anything you need, I will always be there first to offer myself.
Friday 1 March 2013
The end of 14th Day - Pavilion
It has been very very long time since I visited Pavilion. I use to go there with my baby Ashley for movies, dinners, shopping, etc. She loves the Armani brand and also Bebe. Among others brands she loves as well. Too bad, she will never follow me there again.
But finally today, I decided to go there for a dinner and also to watch a movie with my friend. It was a long and tiring day for me. Going around places, stuck in the jam, got lost, so many things for a day. I spill my milo on my seat again, then have to send to wash, took the train to collect my car because of the traffic jam. Got appointment at 8.30 but in the end was very late and reach around 9++ at kepong to pick my friend. Then head to Pavilion from there which made me got lost and both of us trying to find our way but in the end reach the korean restaurant around 10 and then movie after.
Despite me trying really hard to forget you and moving on with my life, to be honest, nothing works. It is still all about you. If ever I could open my heart again, it will be a miracle. But for now, I still misses you so much and loved you so so so much. Life is always unpredictable and I don't even know about your life with him now. Just can hope that it is wonderful. Even if it's not, I will still always be here for you. But I believe he is a better man than me. You told me before that he is 1,000,000,000,000 more better than me. You must be right in this.
Love is always the most beautiful when it is pure and sincere from the heart. Weekends going to be relaxing for me. Hope it is for you too and enjoy it with him, your family and friends.
I love you always and forever. Take care and have a great weekend baby. I misses you so much. God bless you and your family. Good night and sweet dreams. I want to dream about you and our cute kids. Please bring them back to my dreams.
But finally today, I decided to go there for a dinner and also to watch a movie with my friend. It was a long and tiring day for me. Going around places, stuck in the jam, got lost, so many things for a day. I spill my milo on my seat again, then have to send to wash, took the train to collect my car because of the traffic jam. Got appointment at 8.30 but in the end was very late and reach around 9++ at kepong to pick my friend. Then head to Pavilion from there which made me got lost and both of us trying to find our way but in the end reach the korean restaurant around 10 and then movie after.
Despite me trying really hard to forget you and moving on with my life, to be honest, nothing works. It is still all about you. If ever I could open my heart again, it will be a miracle. But for now, I still misses you so much and loved you so so so much. Life is always unpredictable and I don't even know about your life with him now. Just can hope that it is wonderful. Even if it's not, I will still always be here for you. But I believe he is a better man than me. You told me before that he is 1,000,000,000,000 more better than me. You must be right in this.
Love is always the most beautiful when it is pure and sincere from the heart. Weekends going to be relaxing for me. Hope it is for you too and enjoy it with him, your family and friends.
I love you always and forever. Take care and have a great weekend baby. I misses you so much. God bless you and your family. Good night and sweet dreams. I want to dream about you and our cute kids. Please bring them back to my dreams.
Thursday 28 February 2013
14th Day of Recovery
Dear Baby Ashley, today mark 2 weeks of recovery and also 2 weeks of your anniversary with him. I sincerely hope you and him will have 1 month, 1 year and 10 years ahead of you. Suddenly, in the office, my tears nearly roll down. But just hold it back with a deep breath while saying this. I have not felt this for some days now since you with him but saying that sentence out really feel some pain. Especially to you. Like the truth about love. The most painful lie is wishing the girl you love happy with someone else. But still I have to hold the pain and sincerely wish you all the happiness with him.
I am still very busy with the last day of my workshop. Then tomorrow will have a short vacation on an island again away from the busy city area and the painful life as well. Hope things goes well at the end of my event today. I just received the official from FIFA a moment ago and just had about 5 minutes to quickly post this. I already made a promise to myself to update this blog no matter how busy I am. And also to take some time to think of you and remember you. I misses you so much now.. Sigh....
I have to go now to finish the second half of my event and then have a good outing with friends tonight. Really need some time off to do some stuff for my own.
Baby, always remember, even the world seems to come to an end to you, even if you feel that nothing goes right, you will always have me to support you and also to make things right again for you. My love to you will never change. I will always be protecting you forever and ever. I love you always baby.
Please take care of yourself and have a nice working day today. Weekend is coming soon. Hope you enjoy it too with him. I really hope to turn back time so we could be together again. But it's basically impossible and i have to stop dreaming and face the reality. Remember to take your lunch and also to take care of your health.
Love you always and forever.... Distance, time, and any obstacles can never take away my love to you. As long as you are happy. I will be happy.
I am still very busy with the last day of my workshop. Then tomorrow will have a short vacation on an island again away from the busy city area and the painful life as well. Hope things goes well at the end of my event today. I just received the official from FIFA a moment ago and just had about 5 minutes to quickly post this. I already made a promise to myself to update this blog no matter how busy I am. And also to take some time to think of you and remember you. I misses you so much now.. Sigh....
I have to go now to finish the second half of my event and then have a good outing with friends tonight. Really need some time off to do some stuff for my own.
Baby, always remember, even the world seems to come to an end to you, even if you feel that nothing goes right, you will always have me to support you and also to make things right again for you. My love to you will never change. I will always be protecting you forever and ever. I love you always baby.
Please take care of yourself and have a nice working day today. Weekend is coming soon. Hope you enjoy it too with him. I really hope to turn back time so we could be together again. But it's basically impossible and i have to stop dreaming and face the reality. Remember to take your lunch and also to take care of your health.
Love you always and forever.... Distance, time, and any obstacles can never take away my love to you. As long as you are happy. I will be happy.
The end of 13th Day - Exciting day
Today is a very exciting and fun day for me. Having mixed with over 40 producers, directors, cameraman in over 20 different countries to cover a real life football match in Shah Alam Stadium. We covered the Malaysia President Cup between Selangor and Terrenganu. Quite a boring match but the feelings with those international participants is just great.
But really tiring at the same time. I hope to be able to share my joy and excitement with you about this. We use to talk about things like this as well. But sharing it here is also the same. As only you might be reading, or might not but I will just share it as well. I played the switcher today and became the director for the live football coverage for 20 mins. It was really a good experience but really funny as well because it was my first time directing and switching the football match in an OB Van provided by ASTRO. I am really happy today and you are the first one I really wanted to share it with.
It has been nearly 10 days since we last message each other. I am trying not to communicate with you anymore and let you lead a normal and happy life with him. And I think, in this regards, I manage to do it. Loving you and not hurting you is my main priority forever after learning the hardest to cope experience and feelings in my life. I will never forget the day we broke up as well and the reasons behind it. Because of the same reason, I manage to wake up stronger than ever and be who I always wanted to be in the future.
I missed you so much now. Feel like hugging you. And really feel like seeing you. I use to hold your hands every time I drive my car. Now sometimes, I just put my hand on the seat next to me and look at it. Because it reminds me of how I always hold your hand. And how you always say "Ni hen Cute, Quo lai and kiss me" Sigh.. Thinking of it, seems like he is the one getting all this attention now. Feel a bit pain and sad in the heart now. But it's ok. I will overcome this slowly but not instantly.
I love you always baby forever and for a thousands years more to come. Please remember to take care of your health and drink more fruit juices ya. See a doctor also when you're free. Good night and sweet dreams.
PS: please allow Ashley baby to come into my dream tonight. I wanted to see son and daughter again tonight in my dream. Love you always.
But really tiring at the same time. I hope to be able to share my joy and excitement with you about this. We use to talk about things like this as well. But sharing it here is also the same. As only you might be reading, or might not but I will just share it as well. I played the switcher today and became the director for the live football coverage for 20 mins. It was really a good experience but really funny as well because it was my first time directing and switching the football match in an OB Van provided by ASTRO. I am really happy today and you are the first one I really wanted to share it with.
It has been nearly 10 days since we last message each other. I am trying not to communicate with you anymore and let you lead a normal and happy life with him. And I think, in this regards, I manage to do it. Loving you and not hurting you is my main priority forever after learning the hardest to cope experience and feelings in my life. I will never forget the day we broke up as well and the reasons behind it. Because of the same reason, I manage to wake up stronger than ever and be who I always wanted to be in the future.
I missed you so much now. Feel like hugging you. And really feel like seeing you. I use to hold your hands every time I drive my car. Now sometimes, I just put my hand on the seat next to me and look at it. Because it reminds me of how I always hold your hand. And how you always say "Ni hen Cute, Quo lai and kiss me" Sigh.. Thinking of it, seems like he is the one getting all this attention now. Feel a bit pain and sad in the heart now. But it's ok. I will overcome this slowly but not instantly.
I love you always baby forever and for a thousands years more to come. Please remember to take care of your health and drink more fruit juices ya. See a doctor also when you're free. Good night and sweet dreams.
PS: please allow Ashley baby to come into my dream tonight. I wanted to see son and daughter again tonight in my dream. Love you always.
Wednesday 27 February 2013
13th Day of Recover
The day for recovery and the days we have broken up till now keep on going longer and longer. I don't know now what recovery really means to me. Is it totally forgotten about you, totally don't think of you anymore, totally don't love you, totally moved on? I think for me, recovery is just to tell myself that love is something miracle, you can love somebody from far but doesn't necessary need to own them or be with them. This is what you thought me. The other party may not love you anymore and happily with another guy but you can still love them and be happy about it. This will be the ultimate recovery that I hope to achieve.
Today will be another busy day for me. Going to the hotel to meet the participants for breakfast and then going to shah alam stadium to cover a live football production. Interesting day for me too.
I wonder how you will pass your days and also your doctors? Really missed the days when you talked and complained for 2 hours every day about your work, hospitals and doctors. I am really an idiot and asshole for losing you when I once had the chance to be with you forever and probably in the next few days or weeks, happily engaged.
I wonder how my ring is right now. Hope that you can place it together with son for the moment or at least tie a string to our son. Everything about you from your toes up till your hair, I will never forget. And everything wonderful about our memories, will stay with me forever.
I love you always and forever. Please take care of yourself. I am planning for a Europe trip during your birthday. It was suppose to be with you. But I will go alone. Planning to get your birthday present there. Although we are not together, I will still always treat you as someone very special in my heart. The only girl I love. I know you like Chanel. Will visit Paris for that. Your birthday, you might be happily celebrating it with him and your friends. I will be alone celebrating it with you in my mind in a foreign country. I will not be in Malaysia that time but will mail your present to you.
I love you always baby. A thousand years song is the song I never failed to listen every single day because I played our video everyday. Take care and have a great working day today. Let us both gambatte for our future and hope that both our wishes will come true. I will pray for you and your family as always.
Today will be another busy day for me. Going to the hotel to meet the participants for breakfast and then going to shah alam stadium to cover a live football production. Interesting day for me too.
I wonder how you will pass your days and also your doctors? Really missed the days when you talked and complained for 2 hours every day about your work, hospitals and doctors. I am really an idiot and asshole for losing you when I once had the chance to be with you forever and probably in the next few days or weeks, happily engaged.
I wonder how my ring is right now. Hope that you can place it together with son for the moment or at least tie a string to our son. Everything about you from your toes up till your hair, I will never forget. And everything wonderful about our memories, will stay with me forever.
I love you always and forever. Please take care of yourself. I am planning for a Europe trip during your birthday. It was suppose to be with you. But I will go alone. Planning to get your birthday present there. Although we are not together, I will still always treat you as someone very special in my heart. The only girl I love. I know you like Chanel. Will visit Paris for that. Your birthday, you might be happily celebrating it with him and your friends. I will be alone celebrating it with you in my mind in a foreign country. I will not be in Malaysia that time but will mail your present to you.
I love you always baby. A thousand years song is the song I never failed to listen every single day because I played our video everyday. Take care and have a great working day today. Let us both gambatte for our future and hope that both our wishes will come true. I will pray for you and your family as always.
The end of 12th Day - My nail is gone
I was so tired that immediately when I came home, I just fell asleep. Thus this post was a bit late. Yesterday night I injured my finger and my nail immediately got broken up till my flesh. Haiz.. Stupid door..
Anyway, it was a good sleep and I dream of you. But the dream was a little unclear and blurry at the same time. But I was happy and glad that at least you came into my dream. You know, I have never loved someone like how I loved you before. It's already 9 weeks. And you are still so clearly in my mind every single day when I wake up, in the middle of the day, and before I sleep and even during my sleep.
How I wish I could see you again, give you a hug, a warm kiss and just do the things we use to do together again. Don't worry, this was all just a dream and just a hope. It will never happen. Plus, you may be very happy with him now and have forgotten me. But I don't mind really. If you are happy, then I am happy.
The blurry dream was actually about us making love. You know how much we both enjoyed making love when together. To be completely honest with you, I will never touch any other girls again in my life. Except for you. You have changed me completely and make me understand some principals and concepts and philosophies in life that I never did before. All my promises to you will remain forever.
I love you always and forever my baby girl. This sentence will always be on every post of mine in this blog. Have a sweet dreams.
How I wish I could see you again, give you a hug, a warm kiss and just do the things we use to do together again. Don't worry, this was all just a dream and just a hope. It will never happen. Plus, you may be very happy with him now and have forgotten me. But I don't mind really. If you are happy, then I am happy.
The blurry dream was actually about us making love. You know how much we both enjoyed making love when together. To be completely honest with you, I will never touch any other girls again in my life. Except for you. You have changed me completely and make me understand some principals and concepts and philosophies in life that I never did before. All my promises to you will remain forever.
I love you always and forever my baby girl. This sentence will always be on every post of mine in this blog. Have a sweet dreams.
My family
Half an hour more towards the end of my event today. It runs really well with everything prepared thanks to all the support from my colleague. Mainly, I just want to thank you for giving me the chance to experience true love. It really gives me a lot of strength and courage to move on and to work even harder for my future. Thanks to you my beloved baby.
Suddenly I would like to show you the photo of my family which we took on Sunday. My mum, dad and my 2 sis and her husband is there as well. And also together with my mum's side brothers and also their wife and children.
They are all my mum's side family members. Big is it. Actually there are a few more that didn't make it to this lunch. You can guess which one is my sister and also my youngest one which looks like a tomboy. Haha. Guess my dad and mum also if you are looking at this blog.
But anyway, can't type more. I really misses you and hope you are happy with your work today. You also will be finishing work soon or maybe busy with OT but just enjoy your life ok. You are meant to be enjoying it. Tonight I will be having dinner with the delegates. After that might have drink with some of the delegates.
I love you always baby. You are my gem in the past, present and also in the future if I ever have the chance to wait for your return. Take care.. Remember to take care of your health and also more fruit juices.
 |
| My family members |
Suddenly I would like to show you the photo of my family which we took on Sunday. My mum, dad and my 2 sis and her husband is there as well. And also together with my mum's side brothers and also their wife and children.
They are all my mum's side family members. Big is it. Actually there are a few more that didn't make it to this lunch. You can guess which one is my sister and also my youngest one which looks like a tomboy. Haha. Guess my dad and mum also if you are looking at this blog.
But anyway, can't type more. I really misses you and hope you are happy with your work today. You also will be finishing work soon or maybe busy with OT but just enjoy your life ok. You are meant to be enjoying it. Tonight I will be having dinner with the delegates. After that might have drink with some of the delegates.
I love you always baby. You are my gem in the past, present and also in the future if I ever have the chance to wait for your return. Take care.. Remember to take care of your health and also more fruit juices.
Tuesday 26 February 2013
12th Day of Recovery
My event finally up and running now. The trainers are doing the trainings now and I can rest for a while and reply my emails. Really tired. Only had about 1 hour of sleep. Sigh..
I hope you are doing great in your job. My recovery so far is doing great. But as I keep saying repeatedly, I will honour my promises to you. I don't want you to say that I keep changing but actually I am not. The reason I keep changing is because of you and him. But like I say, once it's confirm, I will leave you both alone.
I really loved you. That's the truth about me and you. But nothing I can do now. I will just concentrate on my work.
I will heading to a weekend vacation with my friends just to relax myself after my event which will end on Friday. I have postpone the Japan trip because of my grandma sudden death as I will need to go back 1 more time next week. So the trip is now postpone. You don't have to worry about it and just concentrate on your work. I will go alone and just burn your ticket if they cannot cancel and refund me.
I love you always and forever. Enjoy your work and hope that you are happy with him always.
I hope you are doing great in your job. My recovery so far is doing great. But as I keep saying repeatedly, I will honour my promises to you. I don't want you to say that I keep changing but actually I am not. The reason I keep changing is because of you and him. But like I say, once it's confirm, I will leave you both alone.
I really loved you. That's the truth about me and you. But nothing I can do now. I will just concentrate on my work.
I will heading to a weekend vacation with my friends just to relax myself after my event which will end on Friday. I have postpone the Japan trip because of my grandma sudden death as I will need to go back 1 more time next week. So the trip is now postpone. You don't have to worry about it and just concentrate on your work. I will go alone and just burn your ticket if they cannot cancel and refund me.
I love you always and forever. Enjoy your work and hope that you are happy with him always.
The end of 11th Day - 4 am now
It's already 4 am. I just got back home after a long tiring day at work because of the FIFA event. Still I need to wake up at 6.30 to be in the office at 7 and the hotel and 8 to welcome the delegates. It's so damn tiring.
But yet, you are still in my mind as always. Never left me not even for a single day. I guess, you really motivate me in a way. It doesn't matter if you are with who now, and definitely not with me, but I will always fight my career for you. I will still work hard, build a name for myself in the industry and retire by 36. By then, if you are not with me, you might be happily married. I will still be very happy for you.
Today at work, while doing my things, suddenly very funny because I am like having sudden thought and dream about our kids. To be honest, I really really misses your 3 nephews. And also I will miss how our kids will look like in the future. This profile picture I put in this blog will always remind me of how happy we can actually be if I trusted you and give you more freedom and stop being an idiot and more mature. Too bad, the damages are done and even though now I change, you will not come back. I can just accept this and already did openly.
Now, I just hope that everything goes well in my life and no more screwed ups. Let all the past be past and just remember the happy things that we once gone thru together. I will always cherish that. At the same time, collecting all our photos to be made into a big photo collage.. I just want to keep it beautiful.
Am I stupid for loving you like this? Will you think I am stupid? For me, I just think that love is not stupid or not clever, not right or wrong, it's only the purity and sincerity of the love that matters the most to me. And i can feel it straight from my heart how I felt about you.
I will always loves you and protect you from whatever harm you might be. I wish to deliver daughter to you soon. Whenever you are ready, just let me know. We don't have to meet. Just allow me to drop it at your car anywhere. Then I will leave.
Baby, you are the best. Always remember this. I may not appreciate you last time, but definitely now, you are my everything. I just simply love you very very much. More than words can say and describe. It will never change for a thousand years to come or many more thousand years. Don't let anyone take advantage of you. I know you are capable of protecting yourself. Stay happy always and if you needed me, remember, just a call away.
This blog will always be active to update my daily activities and love towards you. I love you always. Have a good night sleep and hope that the angel of dreams will be with you and give you sweet wonderful dreams.
But yet, you are still in my mind as always. Never left me not even for a single day. I guess, you really motivate me in a way. It doesn't matter if you are with who now, and definitely not with me, but I will always fight my career for you. I will still work hard, build a name for myself in the industry and retire by 36. By then, if you are not with me, you might be happily married. I will still be very happy for you.
Today at work, while doing my things, suddenly very funny because I am like having sudden thought and dream about our kids. To be honest, I really really misses your 3 nephews. And also I will miss how our kids will look like in the future. This profile picture I put in this blog will always remind me of how happy we can actually be if I trusted you and give you more freedom and stop being an idiot and more mature. Too bad, the damages are done and even though now I change, you will not come back. I can just accept this and already did openly.
Now, I just hope that everything goes well in my life and no more screwed ups. Let all the past be past and just remember the happy things that we once gone thru together. I will always cherish that. At the same time, collecting all our photos to be made into a big photo collage.. I just want to keep it beautiful.
Am I stupid for loving you like this? Will you think I am stupid? For me, I just think that love is not stupid or not clever, not right or wrong, it's only the purity and sincerity of the love that matters the most to me. And i can feel it straight from my heart how I felt about you.
I will always loves you and protect you from whatever harm you might be. I wish to deliver daughter to you soon. Whenever you are ready, just let me know. We don't have to meet. Just allow me to drop it at your car anywhere. Then I will leave.
Baby, you are the best. Always remember this. I may not appreciate you last time, but definitely now, you are my everything. I just simply love you very very much. More than words can say and describe. It will never change for a thousand years to come or many more thousand years. Don't let anyone take advantage of you. I know you are capable of protecting yourself. Stay happy always and if you needed me, remember, just a call away.
This blog will always be active to update my daily activities and love towards you. I love you always. Have a good night sleep and hope that the angel of dreams will be with you and give you sweet wonderful dreams.
Still in the office!!! - I miss you
I am still in the office. Really work keep coming and coming. But anyway, thank god I am leaving. Great experience, but no future. My colleague says that when I tender my resignation end of this month, my boss might promote me and give me a counter offer. Let's just hear about it. But still, my decision is to leave unless he can give me an irresistible offer.
Tomorrow is the first day of my big event in ABU and also in Asia-Pacific. Partnership with FIFA and the Host Broadcasting arm of FIFA (HBS). It's really great to meet the big names in FIFA and working with them directly. But also a busy and tiring day for me because of the only person in the department doing all the job after my director and secretary left.
Despite all this busy moment, I always takes time to think of you, while doing my emails, while meeting and talking to people, my mind sometimes flashes images of you and the moments we are together. I really misses all that.
Anyway, I hope my event is a big success. Not for my company but for the future of my career in the sports broadcasting industry.
I love you baby, for now, I will just focus on my career. I hope you are living a happy life now with him. I misses you so much. And loves you so much too. Just always keep this in mind, despite my busy time and despite that you are with him now and we have broken up, I will still always be by your side no matter what happen to you. Like I said before in my previous post.
"You may meet people better than me, more mature than me, more handsome/clever than me, treat your better, care for you better than me, but in the end, if all this people leaves you. I will always be the one standing there with you." I am always just a call away from wherever I am.
Sincerely loves you truly from my heart. I love you always Ashley. Forever and ever my heart will be yours. Till death approaches me. I will still love you eternity.. My love to you will be more than thousand years and all the thousand years to come.
Take care and hope you have a productive day today. Remember all the fruits and rest more and stress less OK!!
Tomorrow is the first day of my big event in ABU and also in Asia-Pacific. Partnership with FIFA and the Host Broadcasting arm of FIFA (HBS). It's really great to meet the big names in FIFA and working with them directly. But also a busy and tiring day for me because of the only person in the department doing all the job after my director and secretary left.
Despite all this busy moment, I always takes time to think of you, while doing my emails, while meeting and talking to people, my mind sometimes flashes images of you and the moments we are together. I really misses all that.
Anyway, I hope my event is a big success. Not for my company but for the future of my career in the sports broadcasting industry.
I love you baby, for now, I will just focus on my career. I hope you are living a happy life now with him. I misses you so much. And loves you so much too. Just always keep this in mind, despite my busy time and despite that you are with him now and we have broken up, I will still always be by your side no matter what happen to you. Like I said before in my previous post.
"You may meet people better than me, more mature than me, more handsome/clever than me, treat your better, care for you better than me, but in the end, if all this people leaves you. I will always be the one standing there with you." I am always just a call away from wherever I am.
Sincerely loves you truly from my heart. I love you always Ashley. Forever and ever my heart will be yours. Till death approaches me. I will still love you eternity.. My love to you will be more than thousand years and all the thousand years to come.
Take care and hope you have a productive day today. Remember all the fruits and rest more and stress less OK!!
Monday 25 February 2013
11th Day of Recovery
Hi baby, Good afternoon. I was extremely busy for my big project for FIFA. Really crazy preparation after coming back from Penang. It was tomorrow. I can't write much now but just to tell you how much I misses you and thinking of you even on a busy period like this.
I love you baby and although busy, I just want to tell you that you never left my mind and you are the reason why I am working hard building my career.
I love you always and forever. If you need anything, I can always leave my career just to be beside you.
Take care and have a nice working day. Please drink more fruit juices for your heath.
I love you baby and although busy, I just want to tell you that you never left my mind and you are the reason why I am working hard building my career.
I love you always and forever. If you need anything, I can always leave my career just to be beside you.
Take care and have a nice working day. Please drink more fruit juices for your heath.
The end of 10th Day - Happiness within the mirror
I am finally back to KL after a tiring 4 hours drive. Next time really I will take the flight or bus back. Anyway, throughout the whole journey, I keep flashing back the memories of us together. "Bu hao yi shi, qing wen yi xia ni zhi dao taxi zai na li ma?" Translation, "excuse me, can I ask where the taxi is?"
I still remember until today that was the first sentence that I have said to you. Then our first meal, first date, first kiss, first everything. All the memories flashes in my mind with smiles on my face. This is true love. Able to let go and still smiling whenever thinking of the happy moments with you. And the smile came from my heart directly.
I watched "together" with my friend in the cinema yesterday night. I guess you must have watched it already with your friends or him. It was not really a good movie but it has some values that reminds me of you. The part where the girl is sad and she went to a class and the comedian was trying to make her laugh. He asked her to look into the mirror, and while look into the mirror, she was asked to forget all the sad memories, and only think of happy memories, then you will have a smile that comes from your heart. At that moment, my thought was only with you. And I smiled while watching that movie, not because of the movie, but because you brought happiness into my life for 10 months. And watching that movie just keeps reminding me of the time we spend together. Although it was short and we did nothing much but mostly staying at home rolling around the bed, but it was the best moment ever. I wish to have eternal life with you like this but of course, I couldn't hope for more now except for your happiness with the one you love.
Although it ended, but the memories will last forever within my heart and my mind. I never appreciate your love and you in the past. But I will appreciate all the memories that you have left behind for me.
I will always remember that you are once mine and have sacrifised so much for me. I will never forget this and will appreciate my present and future and keep our memories safe within the memory box in my mind and heart. No one can delete this memory from me.
I love you baby, always and forever you will remain in my heart. I will be with you whenever you needed me in the future.
Take care and goodnight. Hope the sweet dreams will always be with you. I just hope to dream of you and our lovely kids again tonight. I miss you so much. It has been very long since we last seen each other. And your things are still with me. I am just waiting for your 1 message for me to pass it back to you. Remember to take care of your health. More juices and have regular medical check up. Forget all the unhappiness in your life and just be happy now and forever.You deserve a guy better than me. I am more than happy to have let you go.
Have a good working day tomorrow. God bless you and your family always.
I still remember until today that was the first sentence that I have said to you. Then our first meal, first date, first kiss, first everything. All the memories flashes in my mind with smiles on my face. This is true love. Able to let go and still smiling whenever thinking of the happy moments with you. And the smile came from my heart directly.
I watched "together" with my friend in the cinema yesterday night. I guess you must have watched it already with your friends or him. It was not really a good movie but it has some values that reminds me of you. The part where the girl is sad and she went to a class and the comedian was trying to make her laugh. He asked her to look into the mirror, and while look into the mirror, she was asked to forget all the sad memories, and only think of happy memories, then you will have a smile that comes from your heart. At that moment, my thought was only with you. And I smiled while watching that movie, not because of the movie, but because you brought happiness into my life for 10 months. And watching that movie just keeps reminding me of the time we spend together. Although it was short and we did nothing much but mostly staying at home rolling around the bed, but it was the best moment ever. I wish to have eternal life with you like this but of course, I couldn't hope for more now except for your happiness with the one you love.
Although it ended, but the memories will last forever within my heart and my mind. I never appreciate your love and you in the past. But I will appreciate all the memories that you have left behind for me.
I will always remember that you are once mine and have sacrifised so much for me. I will never forget this and will appreciate my present and future and keep our memories safe within the memory box in my mind and heart. No one can delete this memory from me.
I love you baby, always and forever you will remain in my heart. I will be with you whenever you needed me in the future.
Take care and goodnight. Hope the sweet dreams will always be with you. I just hope to dream of you and our lovely kids again tonight. I miss you so much. It has been very long since we last seen each other. And your things are still with me. I am just waiting for your 1 message for me to pass it back to you. Remember to take care of your health. More juices and have regular medical check up. Forget all the unhappiness in your life and just be happy now and forever.You deserve a guy better than me. I am more than happy to have let you go.
Have a good working day tomorrow. God bless you and your family always.
Sunday 24 February 2013
10th Day of Recovery
Today is the 10th day of my recovery process. I just came back from collecting my grandma's ashes. Finally the whole ceremony is done. I will be going back to KL soon and busy the whole week with my FIFA event.
The whole recovery process was going really well so far. Although my love to you will never leave me, but at least, I am not like last time anymore. I still think of you everyday from time to time and in the morning when I wake and at night. I never gets bored looking at our photos. You will always be my reminder of how a girl should be treated and how we should present our loves to them. I will always keep this in mind and be a good bf and husband in the future. To be honest, marriage is a lifetime commitment for me and every time I think about it, only you came into the picture. With my imagination on our lovely and wonderful kids. This few days, every time i carry my nephew and cousin, I am always thinking of you and our future kids. I know this is just a dream, but a dream I don't want myself to ever forget and hope to keep on dreaming about it whenever I fell asleep.
I may look stupid putting all my love on you and ignoring all the other girls around me, but to me, every thought about you is worth it, every sec of my love to you since the day I saw you until now is never wasted. To love someone so deeply and truly is also a kind of blessing and to be able to once feel your love and care is a kind of gift from god to me. I will always remember the sweet moments we once shared and bring it to the future.
Baby, I will always love you and hope the best for you. This blog will always be kept active with daily postings about my life, and how much I misses you.
Love you always my baby ashley. You are forever my gem and the best girlfriend i ever had. I am sorry I disappointed you numerous times. It's time all those bad past be forgotten and just remember your happy present and future with him. I will keep our memories alive here just in case when you are unhappy and wanted to read something. I will always be here for you 24 hours a day. Never going to leave you alone forever.
Have a lovely working Monday and hope all your wishes and dreams about your work and future job will be prosperous and happy for you. Take care. Hope and wish all your targets are met. Please take care of your health and drink more water and fruits.
Miss you so much Ashley!!!
The whole recovery process was going really well so far. Although my love to you will never leave me, but at least, I am not like last time anymore. I still think of you everyday from time to time and in the morning when I wake and at night. I never gets bored looking at our photos. You will always be my reminder of how a girl should be treated and how we should present our loves to them. I will always keep this in mind and be a good bf and husband in the future. To be honest, marriage is a lifetime commitment for me and every time I think about it, only you came into the picture. With my imagination on our lovely and wonderful kids. This few days, every time i carry my nephew and cousin, I am always thinking of you and our future kids. I know this is just a dream, but a dream I don't want myself to ever forget and hope to keep on dreaming about it whenever I fell asleep.
I may look stupid putting all my love on you and ignoring all the other girls around me, but to me, every thought about you is worth it, every sec of my love to you since the day I saw you until now is never wasted. To love someone so deeply and truly is also a kind of blessing and to be able to once feel your love and care is a kind of gift from god to me. I will always remember the sweet moments we once shared and bring it to the future.
Baby, I will always love you and hope the best for you. This blog will always be kept active with daily postings about my life, and how much I misses you.
Love you always my baby ashley. You are forever my gem and the best girlfriend i ever had. I am sorry I disappointed you numerous times. It's time all those bad past be forgotten and just remember your happy present and future with him. I will keep our memories alive here just in case when you are unhappy and wanted to read something. I will always be here for you 24 hours a day. Never going to leave you alone forever.
Have a lovely working Monday and hope all your wishes and dreams about your work and future job will be prosperous and happy for you. Take care. Hope and wish all your targets are met. Please take care of your health and drink more water and fruits.
Miss you so much Ashley!!!
The end of 9th Day - Great night with friend
Had a great lunch with my family today. The kids were just wonderful and I feel happy playing with Yee Xiang (my sister son) and also Oscar (my cousin). Both of them are very cute. And suddenly it reminded me of Mason, Jayden and also Kingston. I really misses them very much now. But don't know when I will be able to have the chance to ever see them again.
Anyway, after the lunch, we went back home and I prepared to go out with my friend for Chap Goh Meh. At least I still have friends here. We watch movie together and supper together. After that we went to Precint 10, to a bar called Soho and just sit down at the outside and have drink. Came home around 4am. It was really tiring. But enjoying outings with them.
Wonder how you are? Lately, keep thinking of you even though I am in Penang. But don't worry too much about this. I think I have let go more than 50%. I never feel so much pain anymore thinking of you. Just misses you a lot.
Need to wake up at 8 am later for my grandma ashes collection ceremony. Can't be late for that. So I can't type too long in this.
Baby, I still loves you so much even though so many days have passed. But it's ok. I will always love you like this and writing it on this blog. I will never disturb your life again ever again. I always from the starting of your relationship with him, hoping the best for you and him happily and never cursed you at all. Just as long as it's your decision, I will always respect it.
I love you always baby. Forever and ever you will always be in my heart. I will let go of you eventually, but not the love I had for you as it will always stay with me. I will enjoy my single life with friends. You enjoy your life with him and when get married, please remember me. Goodnight and sweetdreams.
Below are the photo of some of my cute cousins. It was so hard getting them to look at my camera as they were all kids. Lolx!!
I love you baby. Have a good dreams as the angels will always be at your side ya...
Anyway, after the lunch, we went back home and I prepared to go out with my friend for Chap Goh Meh. At least I still have friends here. We watch movie together and supper together. After that we went to Precint 10, to a bar called Soho and just sit down at the outside and have drink. Came home around 4am. It was really tiring. But enjoying outings with them.
Wonder how you are? Lately, keep thinking of you even though I am in Penang. But don't worry too much about this. I think I have let go more than 50%. I never feel so much pain anymore thinking of you. Just misses you a lot.
Need to wake up at 8 am later for my grandma ashes collection ceremony. Can't be late for that. So I can't type too long in this.
Baby, I still loves you so much even though so many days have passed. But it's ok. I will always love you like this and writing it on this blog. I will never disturb your life again ever again. I always from the starting of your relationship with him, hoping the best for you and him happily and never cursed you at all. Just as long as it's your decision, I will always respect it.
I love you always baby. Forever and ever you will always be in my heart. I will let go of you eventually, but not the love I had for you as it will always stay with me. I will enjoy my single life with friends. You enjoy your life with him and when get married, please remember me. Goodnight and sweetdreams.
Below are the photo of some of my cute cousins. It was so hard getting them to look at my camera as they were all kids. Lolx!!
Happy Chinese Valentine - Ashley
I love you forever. Sorry I couldn't send anything to you because of your bf. I hope you and him will be loving forever and stay happy always. Hope you enjoy yourself today.
Take care and have a lovely Sunday.
Saturday 23 February 2013
Sometimes I still have this feeling - Hui Hu Xi De Tong
2 months ago, when we broke up, this feeling was very strong. Until when you had a bf only I started to let go slowly and accept the reality and fact. But sometimes, this painful feeling is still there. How I really wish we could start all over again. But I think, it's all just a dream now.
I love you baby and always and forever. Just let me alone take all the pain.
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