Today definitely not a good day for me. I just lost my grandma yesterday and my boss is a little pushy about the event next week and very worried about it. I am beginning to lose confidence in love. Yesterday a friend of mine was very good to keep me company. And keep trying to cheer me up. But my mind was all about my grandma and also you. Of course I didn't tell her that I am still thinking of you. People thought that I am slowly getting away from thinking too much of you.
No one knew about this blog. This is the only place where I can express my emotions freely without worrying about anything. The days without you is really hard to pass by. Although I smile everyday when I meet people and I do my work in the office, who knows that deep inside, my heart is bleeding badly. On bad days like this, I just wanted 1 person in this world to go thru with me, not my friends, my other girls, but just you.
It's already 8 weeks and it still feels like first day of breaking up to me. My love never lessens even a little bit but instead, the loneliness grew. I knew that we would never get back together. I knew that sooner or later, I would have to let go. I knew about all this. I just hope that my grandma above will give me strength and courage to overcome this. I miss you terribly grandma. No more lobak and no more curry chicken for me when I come back.
Whatever it is, everyday I still pray for you hoping that you will be happy with your life now. And repenting what I have did to you in the past. I love you always and forever.
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