Valentine & departing in less that 24 hours

It's going to be Valentine and I am departing soon too. I feel so lonely and sad. Not because I needed someone to accompany me during Valentine. But because I lost someone whom I thought will spend the rest of my life with. Just 7 weeks ago, I thought our CNY and Valentine would be a great one. But who knows, that it all falls apart in just a short period of time. To regret and realise my mistakes is just far too late to even do anything. I never realise that third party can come in so easily into our relationship. I thought she really loved me.

Daughter and Madagascar son will be my only company for the days, weeks, months and years to come. I am still waiting for the miracle. Our flight departs at 8.45pm at night. But it's already 99.9999% that she will not come. I never put much hope but if she does, I will be really grateful to god and will never never hurt her again. I keep looking back at our photos. And my tears keep rolling down. I have said to her that I will not shed a single tears for her anymore but I guess, it's always harder than said. I guess, just letting her go and find her happiness with him is the only thing I can do now. I missed her dearly. So so so much. More than words can say. If she ever returns to me again, all i want to do is just to hug her so tight, for as long as she allows me. And will keep hugging her every time I see her for the rest of my life. I never appreciated her when she is around and now when she is gone, I can only sit down in front of my laptop, typing and unable to do anything else.

The sight of the romantic island will be really bad for me. I guess all I will do throughout my stay will just be in my room. Going out will make me even more depress. Having to face all this alone. I just hope that you will be happy. It's never never my intention to make you unhappy or disturb you.

Baby, if letting you go, allows you to truly find your own happiness with him, I will definitely do that. And in the future, if you needed me, I will be the first to come to you without any question. Regardless of what you need from me. Even my life, I would give it to you and everything I have.

I just simply loved you so much. I am near depression stage now. Please let me hold on longer. Give me the strength and courage. I hate myself. Why do I screw everything up?

Please be happy. Just to prove that you are making the right decision to be with him. I will be happy for you here although I am suffering alone. This is what I deserve.