I am just lost of words and emotions to describe my feelings right now. My grandma loves me so much when I am young and never hit me before and always pamper me with the things I want and need. She never failed to care for me every time I see her even until I am grown. She still thinks that I am her little grandson. Always ask if I have eaten enough, got enough money to spend, want to buy food for me, especially my favourite food. And always make lobak for me. She knows I like her lobak very much and chicken curry. Every time when I am back to Pg, she will make a whole bunch of lobak for me. And my auntie and mum will fry them up for me everyday when I am in Pg. Together with chicken curry. She would cook a big pot for me and with lots of potato.
She is in much pain ever since she is diagnosed with cancer. But I am glad that the pain is now over and she can happily reside in heaven. She will have a better place there with all the good deeds she has done in her life. This is the only happy thing I can think of right now. Her pain all gone.
You are the first girl I share this message with when I receive it from my mum and cousin. I really don't want to trouble you but I just couldn't stop myself. And thanks for all your messages. I truly appreciate it and wanted to reply but I just feel that, since you have a bf, I don't really want to disturb you anymore. I still love you very much and to be honest, I really hope you could be with me now. My grandma wanted to see you so much and keep asking me to bring you back. Now, she will never have this chance.
The beginning of this year, until today, really not a single day, I am happy. First, I lost you (the girl I loved so much), now I lost my grandma. What's next? Please take my life away if you wanted to torture me like this. Car accident, poison, or whatever. Just find a way to take my life out from my body.
I really don't know what else to say. Life is so fragile. Anytime it can be taken away from us. Appreciate the living person and the person whom means a lot to you and you will never find another chance if they are gone.
I love you always grandma. And I will always miss you. Ashley, I love you always and miss you a too.
Rest in peace grandma.
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