Valentine Day today, I wonder what you are doing now? Working? Being with him? Very happy with him? All this while ever since we break up, I am just playing guessing game. Nobody really wanted to tell me the truth. I believe in her that she is a good girl and she knows what is the best for her. If she feels that he is the right man, then he is the right man. I have no question in that.
I don't dare to go anywhere today. Not even the shopping malls, or even outside buying food. In the next 2 hours, I will be boarding the flight back to Penang. Just staying with my grandma seems to be the best thing I can do at this moment. It has been a sad beginning of the year for me until now. I still have not recover. I acted like nothing happen every time I went out with my friends or at work. But my close colleagues can feel my pain and my closes friends saw me crying. But behind those smiling faces, actually lies a face with a thousand broke pieces of my heart that every single piece although broken, still thinking and missing you.
I keep wondering, if someone really done a lot for you and gives you everything, is he/she the one that we should appreciate? Is this love?
I guess forever, you will always ignore me, and hate me for the things I have done and said although I don't mean it. I just hope that one day, when you really accepted him and be with him, I just hope to be inform. I really hope you could tell me this good news so I can be happy for you as well. I am not a selfish guy, a crazy guy, or an insane guy. But just simply a guy that loves you so much.
As long as you are happy, even if you hated me, or don't miss me or don't think of me anymore, is fine with me. As long as I know you are happy. Then I will just be your guardian and will never dare to dream of being with you again.
Sometimes, i keep wondering too, am i stupid to hold on to this love? To continue and keep loving you like there is no tomorrow. Please tell me if I am stupid or not? Only you can wake me up. If you think I am stupid, please tell me. Because I feel that love suppose to be like this. When there is nothing I can do, I can only watch silently and protect from behind and just love you unconditionally.
I just hope this pain will go away and leave me happiness although I still love you. I don't want to love you painfully but wanted to love you happily.
I love you forever.
No comments:
Post a Comment