9th Day of Recovery

Another day in Penang. Going to find my grandpa later after an hour and pray. My grandpa also pass away few years back. After that, free and easy day for me until tomorrow morning where we will collect my grandma ashes and bones and put into the jar.

I will visit some friends this afternoon to catch up. But I still have lots of pending works to do. So tired actually. Really really tired. Why did I screwed everything up? If you were here, then at least you can share some of my burdens with me. Relationship, family, work, all this 3 really killing me since the first day of the year. But don't worry, I never blame you for the problems I have created with us. For now, as long as you are happy. Even love you like this is good enough for me. Nobody knows that I still love you so much and keeping this blog active and looking at our photos and videos everyday. Nobody knows about it. All my friends and colleagues thought I have gotten over you and forgotten you.

Guess my acting skills are really good. But today is Sunday. I shouldn't be so emo again. I have promise you that I will live my life to the best in order not to disappoint you and change myself for the best of you and me. I am a completely different guy than you know earlier. Not completely different. Daughter still here. Just the characters you don't like because I finally understand how to make a relationship last and loving always. I don't have the chance now and in the future but understanding it makes me feel good enough. At least now I can understand it better on how to keep a relationship alive.

I will always love you and hope and pray for your happiness always. Whenever you face any roadblocks or walls in your life, remember, you can always come to me. I will have no questions on your past and will accept it openly and just lend you my ear and shoulder and accompany you until you go thru your hard times. You are never alone even though everyone else left. I will be here baby. Always and forever. Your guardian angel.

Take care and have a good Sunday with your friends, lover and family.

I love you always and forever my beloved baby Ashley.