You may say goodbye to the person you love. Wishing them all the best and everything. But can you really let go? I have other options but I am not even considering them. Getting a new gf now is not an option for me now and for the next coming few years. I still love her so much. Yesterday night when everyone is busy playing fireworks, I cried looking back at our photos, messages, and recalling back all the memories we had from the day we met until now. It's not easy to let go. It's almost impossible.
There are people who cared for me, but I will never be with them because falling in love simply is not like this. It's not like if people treat you really good and with care, then you will like them. If yes, I wouldn't be with her when I saw her in the bus.I would have been with others because I am single for 1 year and during the last breakup, many people around me treated me nice. But I never like them at all. I am touched by some of the things that they do and the care that they have for me. But that's about it. Never like and never love. Until I met her in the bus. Then I feel love all over again. It will be the same now.
People often comes into our world with good intentions and to help us to go thru difficult times. But often time, we mistaken them as the person whom we love. If love is so easy, then we would have a lot of partners beyond imagination.Loving someone is always painful and it is a feeling that no one can explain.
Today is CNY and my mum called me again after yesterday saying how sad she is. I say I will drive back to Pg later to meet them and my grandma. In the mean time, I wish her all the best in her new relationship but her wishes to me will not come true because I will be single for as long as my love remains to her and this blog will be active for as long as her thoughts remains in mine. It's really hard to forget the person you love despite everything that happens. I never blame her. Maybe my words do at some point, but I never blame her deep inside my heart. As of yesterday, I realised that her love to me might have ended and she is happy with her new love but to me, the love has never leave my heart even until what happen yesterday. I will love you quietly now and just keep all the beautiful memories with us. I will never disturb you anymore and will just go thru my life alone. I don't want to hurt another girl with the things I have within myself because I know how painful it is when experiencing it with you.
My sincere wishes is for you to be happy with him. With your new found love. And hopefully he can take good care of you and never hurt you. I will love you always from a distance and never to get close to you anymore. Crying alone is always better than 2 person. I guess, I will step out from this triangle battle and just leave you and him alone.
Take care Ashley. You are forever my best girlfriend and you are forever the one that has given me a new hope in live that true love does exist. And I truly believe it now. You are ideal girl that I wanted in my life as my gf, a wife and a mother to my beautiful kids. But too bad, I screwed up everything and will never have the chance to build all this with you. Despite all the bad things I said about you, non of it I truly mean it. Means non of it is true. It came out of anger. You are the best and I just simply love you for who you are. Not changing you a bit.
Have a wonderful Chinese New Year and a great Valentine Day with him. I will love you for a thousand years to come.
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