My grandmother is no longer here

Finally the whole long ceremony has ended. I am so damn tired. Looks like a zombie now. My grandma was lift away at 3pm today after the whole ceremony started at 2pm. We had a long walk to somewhere where we boarded the bus to the place where my grandma will be burn into ashes and laid to rest forever.

Before 2pm, my mum cried so badly and my heart felt so sad and pain seeing her like this. She was unable to accept her death at the last minute. She keep crying and have no energy to stand at all. She nearly fainted. But luckily we hold her up and walk her away. Sigh.. Life is like this. Ups and downs always and we can't avoid life and death. I just feel so sad at that time. And all of us cried when they finally wanted to close the coffin for delivery and final ceremony.

It's now nearly 7pm and I just reach home and never slept at all. Need to bath then head out for dinner with the family members and my grandma left some stuff for us which will be divided later during the dinner. I will miss you so much my beloved grandma. It's not until the very last minute that all the memories of us flashes in my mind that you were always caring about me and worry about me whenever I come back to Penang. I really misses you now. I should have come back often to see you and accompany you whenever I have the time. Anyway, at least she should be happy now.

So, how is your day today? Shopping? Hanging out with friends? Hanging out with him? Movies? Drinking? Or some outdoor activities? But whatever you do, just do it happily ok. As long as your happy, then I will be happy. I also missed you so so much.

But whatever love I had for you now can only be the kind of love that I can dream of in the future. Just hope for the best to you and your family. I love you always my beloved baby. Looking at our sweet photos and videos again. This memories will definitely last forever.

Take care and enjoy the rest of the night. I have taken some photos of the funeral but not sure if it's appropriate to even post it up. Will choose the photos that you can't see my grandma face or any of my family members face. To avoid any "pantang".

I love you forever and ever Ashley baby..