It's time to say goodbye

I receive a message from him, the guy that my ex was with. I just can't believe that she will tell him everything I have said to her. And ask him to send me message. The love I had for her is actually worth nothing to her. But only painful experience and constantly being humiliated by them. I don't mind being humiliated by others but by her, the pain is just even more extreme. Especially by her new guy. I just don't know how to accept it. Her message to me just 2 weeks ago, a few days after I saw her holding another guys hand, is just very touching to be true. But 1 week after, she just threw back all her words and messages saying that it was all feelings which is very very long ago when we first broke up. But reading at her messages again and again doesn't give me that kind of impression that it was long ago but more on the day itself.

I guess I have been blinded by love that I ignore all other aspects of rationality and covers all my judgements. I chooses not to believe the things I see and the things that people tell me. I chooses to believe her. But both their relationship is obviously not that simple. I guess it's time to say goodbye. Although I still loves her so much and misses her. But I know, she is no longer the girl I use to know.

It's time to wake up and open my heart to the people that cares for me. This afternoon a girl sends me lunch box because she is very concern about me. Thank you Janice. I will never open my heart to another unless I can let go of this love. I want to be fair to the girl that treat me nice.

Janice, your lunch box is very healthy and thanks for sending it over to me. I really appreciate it. I finished every part of it even the prawns. I don't take prawns but nobody has ever send me lunch box before. I am touched and therefore, I finished the prawns as well. You even add some biscuits because afraid I might not go out later. Sorry that I can't go out with you. Many things happen and I am still very much in love with her. Although she has another guy now, I still love her. I will try now, to let go of everything and to start my life all over again.

God, since things are very clear now, I just hope you can give me the courage to move on with my life.