Why my tears wouldn't stop flowing

Why my tears wouldn't stop flowing? Why do I have to cry every night and all the time? I go everywhere, I see happy couples and I remember our happy moments together even just having economy rice until they know us. Wherever we go, people recognise us. But now, wherever I go, people ask me, where are you? I just can tell them, I have done something wrong and she left me now.

The fruit stall in tropicana where we always buy fruit juice, told me the other day that they saw you with him. Through their description, I can tell that it's him. They even asked you where I am and you say I was outside. You didn't say that we broke up but I did. I told them that we broke up and they just asked me why? They thought that I am lying, everyone thinks I am lying. Because no one believe that we will ever break up. Even myself never thought of it. They just say, jangan tipu.. But I insisted that we break up and I tell them that I still love you very much even though we broke up.

Tears can't stop flowing down now. It's chinese new year eve and you can't imagine everyone busy playing with firecrackers and enjoying time with family and have no worries. But for me, my heart is bleeding badly now and there is no bandage for it. How can you put bandage on your heart to stop it from bleeding internally? There is no cure to this. I have tried getting away by doing my work in Bali, I have tried going out with friends. I have tried hanging out everyday but I still can't forget you. And I keep thinking of you all the time. I wanted to go back to my family. To see them and to celebrate CNY with them. But I just can't stop myself from being in so much pain. This is my punishment for hurting her. I deserve this.

Maybe god is punishing me. For hurting the girl that sacrifise so much for me. I loved her so much. I just don't know what else to do but to keep writing.

Have a nice day in Singapore and wish all your family members happiness, prosperity and great fortune.