Good morning baby and the world. I had another sleepless night and I failed to dream about you again. This really feels terrible. I wonder when will all this be gone. Whenever I think of you, I still feel so much pain in my heart. Thinking of our perfect love. I just can't stop shedding more tears whenever I think of the fact that no matter what I do, you will no longer come back anymore. God, please I beg you, take away my pain and give me happiness. I am dying here. Slowly dying and nobody to help me. I know it is ultimately myself that can cure and end all this pain and suffering but did anybody knows that the love I had for her can't be remove or gone just like that?
You say I never loved you but just want to own you and that I am crazy and insane because of the things I do and you never will have the trust on me anymore. I really don't know how to proof all this to you. And you even said that I have promise to wait for you but I send 1 message saying that if you are together with him, then we will never be together again. Then you say that I can't keep to my promise and I keep changing my words and you have actually considered coming back (although you said that thought was many weeks ago). I keep thinking of the mistakes I make. But to be honest, it is never easy falling in love and when you do, it is just so hard taking it away. I just hope that you once really loved me. Because you are now falling in love with another man. I never blame you. It's all my fault that all this happen. I wanted to turn back time just to be with you again but I can't anymore. I can only wait and see what happens in the future and proof to you that whatever I have promised you, I will make sure I keep to it and god and time will be the witness.
For now, I just want my sleepless night to go away. I miss the nights when we can sleep so soundly till the morning and me hugging you to sleep and kissing you. I really miss you. You will be leaving soon to Singapore. I wish you have a safe journey.
You will never hear from me again in message because I have determine not to disturb your life anymore the moment you said you will accept him. I love you so much. Although we will have many wonderful kids together, and we will be happy, but the trust you had for me no longer exist. I can't force you about this. My love to you will definitely stays on forever. Because this is true love. If you know true love, you will understand what I mean.
Have a nice day. I am sure you are very busy today. Maybe busy changing and finding job too. Because you said before that you don't want to have a bf that works at the same company with you. I wish you good luck. And all the best.
PS: If you are reading this blog, or not, I hope that it will only remains between the 2 of us. This is the only thing I ask from you. Keep this blog a secret. I will never reveal this to anyone but only you.
Daughter says hi to you!
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