I am going to the airport now. Done packing our beloved kids with me. I don't know what might happen in the future. But I just hope to keep surviving and fighting the pain of losing you in the hope of being with you again even if it takes forever.
Loving you is my long term plan and it is forever. Chinese New Year is just a few days away. And I am still thinking if I should go back home to celebrate of just stay in KL and wonder around the malls watching movies. I hope you will have a great time during Chinese New Year. I always plan to bring you back to see my parents. They will be very happy. I will deliver the sad news to them after CNY. My grandma will not make it long. She seems to be getting weaker and weaker. I am very worried. I will go back to see her but will come back during Chinese New Year to KL. I am getting sick and tired of valentine day. I hope in Maldives, I don't see any sweet couples because it will remind me of you. I guess I will just stay in my room watching movies with daughter and Madagascar son. It sounds stupid playing with this bears and childish. But I just feel comfortable when they are beside me. With daughter, it almost seems like you are with me.
I love you always, take care in this festive season and enjoy yourself with your family and him. I hope you will be happy forever. Always better for 1 person to suffer than all of us suffer. That is why I have decided not to text you anymore despite all the urges I had from my hand to do so. I really misses you day and night 24 hrs a day. I can't get you out of my mind.
If you ask me again if he is suitable for you, I am really in no position to judge him. As I believe there are always really good guys around. And I am sure he is one of them. But love doesn't see things that way, there may be thousands of good guys out there including all your friends, Wei Hao, Ah Mao, etc but you didn't love them. So love is special in a way. I would say that in terms of life, we are the more suitable couple. We have the face of a married couple. And we are very happy together except for the things you mention earlier about trust, restricting your outings, fbing, whatsapping and so on but other than that, every night when we come back, we are so happily messing with each other, me hugging you, playing with you, singing songs, daughter voice, even inside the car, we are laughing. I am not sure if you share this with him but if you have, then I am happy for you. We have our sets of things that bind us together. The laughter we had even without doing anything, that cannot be replaced. I love you very much. And willing to sacrifise anything for you. But for now, I will just love you and wait for you patiently.
Take care my love. I will update this blog with some interesting photos in Bali with daughter and Madagascar son. Love you always.
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