Had a fantastic meeting with my dear colleagues from TVRI. We had a fruitful one with many conclusions made and points agreed. I am happy that my mind is still working and able to chair the meeting wisely and not screwing anything up. Overall, all of us are very happy. We had lunch in a so called chinese restaurant but halal food. It was called Restaurant Renon. The food is great. Nothing like Bali food at all which is also good.
After the meeting, we went to a market to do some shopping. They brought me there to see if I can get anything back as a souvenir. Immediately I thought of you and your nephews. Sigh, why does everything I do have to be associated with you. Why do you crosses my mind all the time? Sometimes, It makes my heart felt really sad because I am here all alone and knowing that you are already with another guy happily together. It makes me wonder back all the stupid mistakes I make and how I can actually avoid it. But like you say, you will never ever give me anymore chance. And you can't leave him because he has done many things for you. I can understand that. But me? Us? Our happiness? I am not sure how happy you are with him. But if you are really happy without even thinking of me, then I will be happy for you and keep on blessing you as usual. I just don't want you to be with a person just because he has done a lot to you. That is not love. You don't have the obligation to pay anything back to anybody. You have the obligation to make sure you yourself are happy. If you are really happy with him, then good. But if not, I really hope you can think of your future happiness because you might need to spend the rest of your life with him. And what will happen if we sees each other on the road? If we bump into each other again? I can tell you, we might be emotional again. I might suddenly felt the love and hurt all over again. You might too. But is it too late that time? I think you know the answer well. We can't predict what will happen in the future. Definitely not you predicting if I will repeat again what I have done in the past. But I can tell you for sure now that, I will never bully you or let you cry alone again. I will always make sure you get all the happiness that you are chasing. And be happy always like a princess.
But anyway, this is something beyond my control. Only you yourself can decide what is best for you and I wish you all the best. I know what's best for me. Which is to be with you. I will wait for that and even until I die, if I can't get you back, I still have no regret seeing you in Aeroline bus. Love is always painful. But it will be beautiful once we have gone thru all the painful moments together because that is what made us stronger.
Anyway, back to my Bali stories. After some light shopping, we went to Uluwatu, which is one of the most famous places in Bali to see the magnificent sunset. And the scenery and views are just spectacular and beyond imagination. I just wish I could be in this places with you. I can't imagine Maldives now. I am sure that the places we stay and the places we are going to visit is one of the best in the world. But without you, all this is meaningless. Now after seeing Uluwatu and how I felt, I am really thinking of just forfeiting the ticket or to just give it to my friends or sister.
I will post some photos up on the places later in my next post as usual. Overall, I am really tired today and totally in the wrong attire visiting this places as it is really very hot. Super hot and I am almost melting because I am in formal. Shouldn't wore this. They say tomorrow please be casual and I will.
Missing you like badly and hugging daughter tightly now. She wanted to talk to you. But don't know if you will talk to her. I don't even know if you are reading all this. But even if not, I will still continue to share my thoughts because this is the only place I can say out how I felt. I can't message you. I can't disturb you with him. I just can love you from a distance and hoping that you are always happy.
I love you baby so so so so much. Just hoping you are right beside me or at least still with me so I can text with you and send you photos of me doing my work and visiting this places. I am going to bath now. Please take care and you are going to Sg soon. I don't know if he is going with you but if yes, then I can really congratulate him. Because he manage to gain your trust and your parents. But I dare not think so much. Because I don't know what's on your mind and doing now. Loving you from far is the only thing I can do. Love you.. I won't spoil and destroy your happiness. If you found it, congrats and all the best with him. Love shouldn't be selfish although I hope so much to just see one message from you.
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