It's nearly 4 am in the morning and 5 weeks since we broke up. I have been having sleepless night for the last 5 weeks up till today with only less than 2 to 3 hours of sleep daily. Today is the first day in an alien room. It felt very uncomfortable. I left my old room in SS2 earlier today but still kept that room for the next 2 months. After that who know where I will be next. I hope I can start to move on by then. I believe you will be much happier too and sincerely hope so. I don't want to leave this place knowing that you are unhappy. Decision is decided by us and I hope you have made the one that will shape your future into a better one and not the one that will bring you more sadness. I hope you are happy.
I have been thinking daily, what are you doing? Are you happy? Do you still look at our photos? Is my ring safely placed in your room or it's hidden somewhere in your drawer together with son? That ring is very important to me and I hope that since it is yours now, I hope it will protect you and you will not abandon it. Same with son. Both son and daughter although just a teddy bear but to me, they both have soul and represented our love. They are the symbol of our love and I truly appreciate our happiness during that time when daughter started to speak. Son soon will be able to speak but sadly, I will not be able to hear it.
On monday and tuesday night, you sent me text messages on whatsapp saying that you missed me and looking at our photos. I am seriously very touched. I am really happy. I never thought you would send me any messages anymore but when I open my phone, I am surprise. But today, the tone of your messages seems to be getting more distant than ever. You no longer said you miss me, only miss daughter. You no longer call me baby and said you miss me. It was about a week ago. I guess time really can slowly fade the love you had for me. But on the other hand, it only makes me love you more.
I guess mine is true love. People say, when you truly love someone, everything else really doesn't matter no matter what they have done to you. I believe it now because even when you are with him, I still love you so much and never put any hatred on you at all. I really never hated you at all. Just that i missed you so much that sometimes, I keep sending messages. But i never hated you and never think of trying to revenge on you. I never had that in my mind.
Baby, time will prove my love to you and my promises to you and the changes I will make for the girl I love. Which is only for you because the girl I love, is only you. No one else.
I LOVE YOU BABY.
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